Shit my dad says

Casey

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#1
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

LMFAO. This is too funny. Basically, a 28 year guy who lives with his 73 year old dad set up this account just to tweet the funny shit his dad says.

Here's some classics:

"What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."
(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."
"Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot.
"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
 

ARon

Well-Known Member
#5
"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."



Fuck I love old people. I used to volunteer at this retirement home near my house just so I can hear shit like this and hear the crazy ass stories they tell.
 

Casey

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#13
the last few have been pretty weak but overall he's pretty funny. the fake christopher walken guy was the best, though.
There's a few deliberate fake profiles out there, they're usually pretty hilarious. the fake sarah palin one brought some serious LOLs.
 

Flipmo

VIP Member
Staff member
#14
Most of the time I get a fucking bigger orgasm from taking a shit more than ejaculating.
10:17 AM Aug 10th from Tweetie

LOL
 

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