Insecure boyfriend?

[k69atie]

Well you all know i have a new man! I haven't shut up about him!!! :laugh:

he has got it into his head that he isn't good enough for me, and sends me texts like this: (sent last night)

"it still scares the shit out of me cos i see guys looking at you and it makes me think what the hell is she doing with me, stupid i know because i know you love me but i've not been this much in love before and i don't want to get hurt again"

anyway this morn i asked him if he was ok, he said yeah i am fine, sorry about the text last nightt, just get a bit worried about us sometimes.

how do i deal with this? i am not used to this, (a man that actually loves me, and is scared of losing me, and not just using me for sex)

what does he mean? and how can i reassue him?

any advice would be great ladies

 

[Beautiful Angel]

girl all you gotta do is let him know how you feel about him, insecurites will go away with time. don't expect them to be gone over night. one day at a time! that's how it is with me and matt only reversed

 

[_carmi]

be with him, dhow him your feelings. theres no much you can do. tell him he's the best thing that could happen to you. only time will take those insecurities away.

 

[k69atie]

yeah that's true, that is what i have been telling him. i will just have to be patient with him, which is fine by me cos i love him

 

[Amara]

Love him the best way you can. And enjoy being loved that much in return. Insecurity is often part of the process, it may feel slightly uncomfortable for both of you adjusting but in the end it's great because it signifies the deepening of his feelings. So dont feel like its something wrong in the relationship or whatever, enjoy it for the compliment that it is to you.

 

[k69atie]

amara you are always right!!!

thanks girl

will keep you all updated

 

[Missy "C"]

i had the same problem... this guy kept sayin that he was horrible, that he was an idiot, and blah blah blah

sometimes he even said that he couldn't believe i liked HIM

a month ago he stopped acting like that

he met someone else, and it seems that suddenly his lack of confidence is gone :|


I'm not sure of what happened, but i know it was my fault. I should have expressed my feelings better, let him know how much i love him! So i agree with everyone here, tell him how much you like him, sometimes guys are a little slow to understand that kind of things... but do that and insecurites will go away with time, be patient!

 

[Suzy]

one thing i cannot stand in a man is insecurity.
my ex was very insecure, i got so fed up of constantly reassuring him that there was nothing wrong with him blah di blah di blah. i mean, when a guy tells you he's too good for you, it's kinda sweet, cuz he thinks that much of you, but when it gets excessive, bordering paranoia...i ain't taking that shit!

ok, i'm sounding like an insensitive bitch now, it's understandable that your guy feels this way as he has been hurt previously. be firm with him. tell him that if you really wanted to be with someone else...you would do so. But he is the one you want.
shower him with love...i don't mean be fake, just tell him regularly how much he means to you, don't only say it only when he says it to you, say it off your own back too.

 

[k69atie]

i have been doing, he seems to be getting better now, maybe it will just take time. if it is still going on months down the line then we will see.

 

[Katarina]

I am insecure in the sense that I am a very jealous person and I have horrible mood swings which makes me freak out occasionally. I think as soon as your boyfriend will feel safe and comfortable around you, he will calm down but just try to be patient with him and don't get angry with him when he feels insecure, because that will just make everything worse.

 

[k69atie]

thanks katarina, and sorry to hear that missy c

 

[Katarina]

i had the same problem... this guy kept sayin that he was horrible, that he was an idiot, and blah blah blah

sometimes he even said that he couldn't believe i liked HIM

a month ago he stopped acting like that

he met someone else, and it seems that suddenly his lack of confidence is gone :|


I'm not sure of what happened, but i know it was my fault. I should have expressed my feelings better, let him know how much i love him! So i agree with everyone here, tell him how much you like him, sometimes guys are a little slow to understand that kind of things... but do that and insecurites will go away with time, be patient!

This may sound weird but maybe he thought you were too good for him so because he was afraid you'd leave him, he had to leave you instead. I don't think you should blame yourself for what happened, how were you supposed to know? I mean what do you say when someone keeps telling you you're too good for them? "Um thanks"?

 

[k69atie]

well things are improving.

we had a really good talk last wednesday night about things, and i think he knows now how much i love him and that i'm not going anywhere.

 

[_carmi]

aww thats nice nothing is better than a good talk to fix things up

 

[k69atie]

yeah that is very true, also i was feeling a little insecure myself so it was good to clear things up.

i haven't felt like this before, and it is scary but good at the same time

 

[Beautiful Angel]

glad things are workin our for you katie, you deserve it!

 

[k69atie]

thanks kellie