Hi, thanks and venting

[Synful*Luv]

Hey ladies,

First thanks for the warm welcomes back.

Secondly this is going to be long, lol, I kind of need to vent and couldn't think of another place to do it. I know some of yhou kind of know me so you can give perhaps more than a general opinion about my situation than perhaps like a yahoo answers or something, lol.

Anyways, sorry this is going to be long.

Alrighty, well I'm about 98% sure that i'm suffering from clinical depression. I've taken several of those online test things and where a score of 21 and over has meant you almost definitely are suffering from it, I've been consistently scoring in the 30s.

I've had this long run of bad luck starting in 09/06 and it has been just trailing me until present date and I have no idea why. I just can't seem to get myself together, there's always something that comes up and fucks things up for me and it's really random things too. Where people are like, wtf I wouldn't have ever guessed that would happen. Like someone in the Universe is going out of their way to fuck with me.

I was still okay until recently, after my gram passed and I had an issue at work i've just been seriously miserable. I can cry for no reason any time of the day, i've really started to not like myself because I'm starting to feel as if there has to be something i'm doing to deserve all of this, I have no interest in doing anything. I've stopped answering the phone when friends call, I don't go to my volunteer centers anymore, i've stopped going to all club and group meetings, I just don't want to be bothered. The only interaction I have with other living things is my boyfriend who is absolutely worried about me and my dog, lol. I don't even want to talk to my mommie most of the time and I love her to death.

I just don't know what to do, I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they're already worried about me and they'll tell my mom and she's having a hard enough time dealing with the death of my gram and getting her estate in order... I can't bother her.

IDK, what can I do?

 

[k69atie]

Hey - welcome back to aau


i think you should go and see a dr hun, and have a good talk with him/her see what they say?


Good luck

xxxx

 

[keco52]

I think everyone goes through this sometime in their life...
There are probably a few things you could do. I'll tell you what I wouldn't suggest from personal experience and hope you find something that works. :/

I deff don't suggest anti-depressants. I wouldn never suggest them to anyone who is just depressed. Maybe for bi-polar disorder or ocd but not depression. If you want to know my reasons catch me on msn.

I think the best thing you can do is keep doing the things that get your mind off of the problems. Even if you don't want to. AND find a therapist. Not to pscyhoanalyze you...just someone you can vent to and maybe they can give you a different perspective.

Good Luck Syn.

 

[Amara]

I wouldn't get too caught up in self diagnosis (and off the internet - no way).

Psychologists are patronizing jerks for the most part, but having someone to listen can really ease the burden. Plus often it feels right to talk to someone who doesn't know you or the situation.

I'd say the sooner you do something, the better. Don't let yourself feel any worse.

 

[lii]

It's unfortunate when you're friends and family are worried about u, they don't mean to but it tends to make it worse. Because while you're strong enough to get out of it, when people doubt your own strength, you start to doubt yourself. And now you're in a situation where you don't even feel like you can talk to your friends because they'll worry your mom with it. The best thing someone can do is just be there and hear you out.
I go to see a therapist sometimes and when u find a good one, it's so worth it. Takes the weight right off your shoulders, something about telling someone else really eases the situation, especially when theyre a professional. I know there are dodgy therapists out there, maybe find a doctor u can trust to give u a referral?
All I can tell you is thats its OK for you to go through this. Everyone is going through some shit one way or another but it's sortof necessary to go through some hell in order to learn and grow from it and then become stronger and more compassionate. So you just gotta embrace it, deal with it properly and you'll be a better person for having been through it.

 

[_carmi]

I'll have to tell you to go seek professional help. Depression is a severe disease (yes it is a disease) and it can't be cured on your own. Also venting to a professional who doesn't know you will make their perspective of who neutral and will maybe make you believe him.

And do not be ashamed of seeking professional help. If you don't know, it'll only get worse. Depression episodes can last for years if untreated.