S14 PSA for July 2008

[S. Fourteen]

Knives don't kill people - people do.

Grey hair is really white - it's just white man's scheme to make all things white good.

It is beauty at it's finest when music is created inexpensively with existing tools.

The best gun cocking scene ever in a movie has got to be Amon Goeth's gun jam in Schindler's List. I think the late Gene Siskel would agree with me.

I know, you're asking - "but salty, what about the best beach scene of all time?" - well, lets break it down to Heaven and Hell - If the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan is Hell - Heaven would be the Pensacola scene in Contact.

I saw a guy puking his guts out at a bus stop the other night - I couldn't keep my eyes off him because I have a puke fetish, but that's not the funny part - the funny part is he was shielding his eyes from me like he didn't want his identity to be known. Silly drunk mofo.

I love watching Britain's Got Talent because I love to see Simon chew on his pen to hold back his passion.

I hate watching Britain's Got Talent because I think Piers' judgement is so boring. "Well, the reason you're so great is because you came out and rocked our world! Yeah!". Shut the hell up you homo. He's clearly a closet homo. No doubt. He fights his homosexuality throughout the show.

I don't want to drag this whole Britain's Got Talent thing anymore than I have to because America's Got Talent is way better. But in all fairness - Piers can spot a genius, while Simon only cares about POP.

I am this close to raping a Toyota Prius owner.

What is the deal with automobile trends? The last three has been extremely gay - the Bug, the Mini and now the Prius.

I know, you're saying - "damn, salty - you hate on big trucks, and now you're hating on small efficient cars - what gives? - well, you - shut the hell up, you.

Zodiac was disappointing . I fell asleep in the middle so I fast-forward it to the ending and pretended like I watched the whole thing. Damn you David Fincher! I agree with those of you that say he clearly took stock footage from an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.

When you go to a place like Subway and demand everything to be on your sandwich - you're an asshole.

When you work for minimum wage - the least you can do is smile and greet your costumer.

The guy at the AT&T store was the biggest asshole ever - more than I, believe it or not. I suggest everyone to head over to the official Apple store for their iPhone purchase.

Ladies, don't believe everything you read - that goes for you men too - but don't mistake me for a guy that adds "alizee and weed" to this. Totally not me.

Is "he needs to get his act together" really a good reason to send him to the military? Discuss at your family dinner before making a big decision like this. The last thing we need is some pussy to realize that his life could be in danger 2 months after enlisting.

The head chef at work snapped and became totally unprofessional - I was going to say something to him but I didn't want to get sliced.

 

[Flipmo]

I agree with the people that want everything on their sub. IT DOESN'T ALL FIT IN THERE ASSHOLE.

 

[Dogmatic187]

Zodiac was a terrific movie, I'm sorry you have the attention span of a lamp Satly.

Fuck all reality shows, except any that involve a potenial fights amongst "celebrities."

I hate anyone who drives a Mini-Van, and everytime I see one, I wanna drive it off the fucking road so there's one less in the world.

Subway is awesome, and if you need everything on the menu to be on your sandwich you're most likely a serial killer or pig fucker or German.

and one of the best closing lines to a movie.
SPOILERS
















"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him, because he can take it, because he's not a hero. He's a silent gurdian, a watchful protector, a dark knight."













END SPOILERS

 

[S. Fourteen]

Don't be sorry. I could sit through Schindler's List back-to-back, but if somebody pops in Lord of The Rings - I just want the flick to end as soon as possible. I guess the problem with Zodiac for me was the uninteresting characters portrayed by Downey and Gyllenhaal. They didn't let me feel it or live it. You know, like, how Ledger in Dark Knight lets me live it and feel it.

My attention is weird. You're saying "reaally?" Yeah. Like, if I have my headphones on, 7 hours is 2 minutes. If I'm on Jury duty (my first one was last January) I'd fall asleep during testimonies about velocity of a car and how long it takes to come to a complete stop. The judge almost caught me half-snoozing but who can you blame? It was after lunch and the shit was boring as hell. Although I pulled through and delivered a fair verdict.

I mentioned my attention span in another thread, yes. Reading is entirely different world because you're not given any pictures. And myself being highly imaginative, tend to wonder off in my head just from two descriptive lines. Movie scripts are a little different - no misty morning dew with a crescent moon in a sky half purple type shit. When it is written well like Inglorious - I tend to establish the scene quickly based on a simple description and keep on reading to find out more.

I keep coming back to edit this. And don't you hate people that assume what you're going to say - you're saying "yeah". I know.

Mini-vans I do hate. Not because they are butt ugly. Not because I was abused in one, no, no, no. Not because I see fucks driving around with not a single passenger in it. It's the same reason why I hate all large vehicles - When I get behind them, I can't see a motherfucking thing. All I see is the faded Student of the Month and Kerry Them Home 04 bumper stickers. Really, what's going on ahead of me because I can't see a motherfucking thing. Is this driver going 15 mph below the speed limit to piss me off or is there some other reason? I don't know, because, you guessed it, I can't see a motherfucking thing.

I'm back! (I've been editing this shit for the last hour) I'm so wondering about in my head. I know Doggy will agree with me on this one - sometimes I think so much, it's scary.

Anyway, hating something is so easy, isn't it?

I hate this - When you diss a member who's not well liked - you get reps and quoted LMAO replies. But when you take that same idea and the same hate and use it against a well liked person for the same reason - you're asshole of the month.

I'm going to try my best and love something now...

ummm..

I love donuts. I really love the 80's, especially how women looked back then (but that's a silly thing to say because I would probably say the same for 30's and 40's and so on). OH, I love to keep torch lighters in my car because the thing is like - fuck you wind, you don't bother me one bit!

Okay, one last thing before I make my next thought into another post.

Reality Shows was mentioned. Okay ok, I'm assuming Doggy's talking about one of those that have famous people of yesterday living in a house together and getting drunk, either that or bankrupt celebrities stepping into a boxing ring. Either way - If reality was the New York Times, those shows are like super market tabloids. Fake as photoshopping on a pimple to Britney's face. Telling you what you should wear and making a clown out of those that don't. Women telling women about secrets to get men. And those are just fillers between the advertisement for breast enlargement pills.
Whatever happened to Cops? Now that's a reality show. If a crackhead was toothless, they showed it. If a deranged fatass redneck woman got tackled by the coppers and the 8 inch knife she was waving around went straight into her fat belly, they showed it. Not that I care for any of those people - it was more of amusement than anything else. Plus that show trained me to be chill for when I get pulled over.

^^ nowadays, I watch Animal Cops because I truly care for those pets that get abused by scums.

 

[S O F I]

I hate this - When you diss a member who's not well liked - you get reps and quoted LMAO replies. But when you take that same idea and the same hate and use it against a well liked person for the same reason - you're asshole of the month.

You can always find those who dislike the person. I thought Militant was well-liked until I made some negative comments about him, then the reps poured in. So I guess I didn't find the people, they found me. But, don't tell Mili this, he'll make another "should I stay or go" thread and win the sympathy vote like Ledger's presumptive Oscar nomination.

and i'm sorry your anti-sofi thread failed. and your anti-salty thread failed. I guess people don't hate you as you'd like to think. So, I don't know...you want to be batman or joker this time around?

 

[Illuminattile]

When you work for minimum wage - the least you can do is smile and greet your costumer.

How many people on minimum wage can afford to hire a costumer in the first place?

 

[Dogmatic187]

But, don't tell Mili this, he'll make another "should I stay or go" thread and win the sympathy vote like Ledger's presumptive Oscar nomination.

I have a magic trick for you SOFI.

 

[S O F I]

I have a magic trick for you SOFI.

Will you make the pencil disappear? :cheesy:

 

[Dogmatic187]

Will you make the pencil disappear? :cheesy:

No, the Sonics.

 

[S. Fourteen]

My Anti threads did not fail to amuse me.

Wireless connection is like salt - when you don't got one, you can barrow the neighbours.

Woah - did I just spell neighbor with a U?

The only thing that failed was S O F I's lackluster reply about ketchup or sumtin.

See what I mean, S O F I stalks my past posts and tries hard to find my weak spot but you can't figure out salty, ever. Not like that anyway.

I completely destroyed my PowerBook G4 - I mean, it was almost dead anyway but damn - did I give that thing a beating. I found a nice metallic corner of my bed frame and smashed the thing into it repeatedly. Then I felt numb and had a ciggy to reflect on what I had just done. RIP my wonderful PoerBook G4 - it was truly a great journey.

I will post pictures of the corpse later. Stay tuned

Alcohol kills taste buds. By the time you know it, you'll be adding chili garlic sauce to every single thing just to get a small sensation. Hear that Yeshua?

I don't have any issues with vegetarians, nor do I have problems cooking for them. Most veggie eaters I personally know are hot, and for a hottie, I will cook anything.

I do have issues with people who claim to have fish allergy that find their way into a sushi restaurant. Like, akdhfkjdsh? What am I missing with that? Good fucking lord. A lawsuit waiting to happen, anyone? Half of that shit is all in the head anyway, because some of them seem to enjoy miso soup with bonito fish stock. HA HA

 

[S O F I]

See what I mean, S O F I stalks my past posts and tries hard to find my weak spot but you can't figure out salty, ever. Not like that anyway.

Nope, out of memory. Anyway, you're not interesting enough to begin with. You get high and become talkative.

 

[S. Fourteen]

Ha, I have not smoked weed in 2 weeks. You fail again.

This reminds me of the time when I used go on IM and how you would ask me how I was doing like you were interested. It seems your MO was something else.

The thing about getting high is - when I have weed - I have better things to think about than "talk" to people.

What's this about tomato being gross? I only know one other person beside Yeshua that has issues with tomatoes. What gives? They're both fine with cooked tomato. They seemed to have issues with the texture of raw tomatoes. I just don't get it. The only explanation I can come with is - slicing a tomato is like cutting into human flesh.

Deep fry a tomato for about 3 seconds and watch the tomato skin peel away like burnt human skin. it's rather soothing.

I'll tell you what - if I was high right now - S O F I killed my buzz. I feel like taking a long hot shower.

 

[S O F I]

Ha, I have not smoked weed in 2 weeks. You fail again.

I meant like...since you registered on this board.

This reminds me of the time when I used go on IM and how you would ask me how I was doing like you were interested. It seems your MO was something else.

Actually, it was a genuine, sincere question. Call it curiosity, call it making small talk.

 

[S. Fourteen]

Okay enough. We're not doing the public any service by bickering over this.

Since you have killed my buzz completely. I shall leave this thread and prepare for another PS update.

Who's the public? The great members of StreetHop.
What is the service? Interesting or not, it's my commentary.

 

[Da_Funk]

TOMATOES SUCK

yes all the gangstas gone grind to this

 

[S. Fourteen]

I love dirty, grinding synth sounds. It's like the beach sand on a plump ass. It accentuates the curves.

I feel like singing - Oh, lord, please don't let me be mis-understood~

Not sure if my intentions are good, though.

S O F I loved that one, I can tell.

Okay, enough.

What is this thing I hear about VIP perks? Blah. That's all cool and all but what is this I hear now? "I want to contribute something" - Okay, ok. Why not contribute your thoughts if you're in the giving mood? Don't be afraid - I already think you're gay - that's not going to change if your threads or posts fail. If this place was happening, maybe they'll get more donations from new comers instead of leeching off the same group of members every 6 months.

FYI, I've never donated because I already contribute so much. If you don't agree - Wednesday at 5PM, my backyard, mud wrestling. Bring your own drugs. I have papers and bongs.

So, I mentioned the head chef at my work. He's an interesting character, I must say. He snapped like I said and was screaming at the server and calling him a "stupid fuck" over a simple misunderstanding. Granted, we make like $1000 worth of food per hour and it can be very stressing, but still, it was very uncalled for. That's not the end of it either. I went into work today and as I was walking through the dining room, I saw his mini-van (BAAAHH) parked outside - I was like, wtf?. He has a day off. Right at that time, a couple of other chefs pulled into the parking lot and as soon as he saw that, he took off. So, I'm thinking to myself -- he's spying on his workers!!! He's making sure everyone's coming in on time? I'm just assuming here but nobody saw him at the restaurant so he was for sure sitting out there secretively. Boy, talk about bad personality. I don't know where the owner finds these people to hire --- considering he got fired from his former employer for starting a knife fight. damn.

Internet beef has always been common, as common as those "net beef is like special olympics" pictures. Well, forget the I'm-so-above-net-beef-people and listen - I'll let you in on a little trick - whoever makes the last post in the beef loses, but there are exceptions. If the beef ended before it started, as in if it was a one post quitter, a hardcore burn that the other guy never stood up to, then your "last post" wins --- please keep in mind that there's a clear difference between a debate and a good ol' net beef. In a debate, the person that makes the last post wins. In most cases, the other guy has logged off in shame or is lurking about, waiting for the thread to reach the 2nd page. Exactly what Yeshua is doing right now after Chron's pwnage in the sandwich thread.

This thread has a beat to it. It starts off with a simple clap clap. Throw in some crap crap. Lay down S O F I's screwed vocals that says "Stack that cheese, stack that cheese". Something, something, something, and loop it.

A great man we call Steve Jobs once told us - Computers are like bicycle for our brains. Please treat it well, unless if you're pissed and the laptop is about to die anyway. RIP my wonderful PowerBook G4. It was truly a great journey.

The corpse - surprisingly, the thing still turns on but the HD is toast, and the screen is broken to all hell.

 

[S O F I]

Smooches.

 

[S. Fourteen]

No homo.

Tip of the tongue teeth and lips.

American schools would be a better place if every single teacher was as passionate and engaging as Jack Black's Dewey Finn in School of Rock.

Do you believe in tipping at restaurants? 15% is the minimum for a good service.

If you don't believe in tipping - get off your high horse, buddy.

You're asking, why don't the restaurant include the tips in the wages? - I'll tell you why - they can't. They cannot survive as a business if they do. If you live in a place where tipping isn't a common practice, then I applaud it, but at the same time I wonder what the mark-up is on those entrees and appetizers you order.

In these parts, we all rely on immigrant workers to fill the jobs that regular citizens won't fill. They work for very little money and that's how restaurants find their way to survival.

Back to servers or waiters or whatever you call them. They also work for very little money - but why? Because your appetite is unpredictable. Their wage is the same regardless of how many people they serve. Most restaurants cannot afford to pay more. So, to work around this - we set up a simple formula - more people=more energy spent=more money.

I mean, come on - you're the one coming in 15 minutes before closing. You're the one who likes to go out and expect to get treated like royalty. You're the one paying a ridiculous mark-up, on something you could easily prepare yourself, for the sake of entertainment and atmosphere - get off your high horse and give that son of a bitch his 15 to 25% if he served you well. If you can't afford that, then stay the fuck home, cook some shit yourself and light a few candles.

 

[Dogmatic187]

^^Did Yeshua highjack your account?

 

[S. Fourteen]

No, this is still salty.

I'm also a chef, and I get a cut of the tips. hehe

Tip well please.

You know what the old fucks at my restaurant taught me? Of course you don't.

The key to being a good chef is bullshitting.

Actually, that sounds a lot better in the Japanese saying - Gomakasu. Basically means to bullshit. Improv is a better translation of it.

Goma is sesame seeds, and Kasu is crumbs.

I'm not entirely sure about the accuracy of my interpretation but when you sprinkle a little sesame seed, not only does it add another layer of taste, it's visually stimulating to have that extra texture of sesame seed or Goma-kasu.

The enjoyment of food starts at first sight.