Ok, so this is my point of view to what happened the night that I met Woody and Stred for the first time.
So, I rang them in the evening asking what they were doing after I finished up some shopping, this would have been about 6.30pm, and they were already at a bar by then probably drunk. I told them I'd call them in a few once I knew my movements for the night.
I went back to my hotel room had dinner started drinking took care of some stuff and then rang the boys again. No answer. Fuckers.
So the girl I was with and I decided to go meet up with some of her friends and we went to a club/bar called Cookie which forces you to climb way too many stairs to get to the top of the building for a rooftop bar. I rang the boys again. No answer. Fuckers.
A little while later we left and I rang the boys again, this time they picked up and said they were on the same street as I was (it's a long fucking street) and they'd start walking in my direction and told me to walk in theirs so they wouldnt have to walk as far and it would be quicker. I told them I'd do it, and then sat down on the chairs next to me to chain smoke a little and wait for them.
Getting bored waiting for them we got up and started listening to some buskers on the street corner, an Asian group singing old Motown hits. They were actually pretty good.
It is at that point that I spotted Stred and Woody and we said our hellos and continued listening to the singers and smoking. Stred seemed sober, Woody, not so much. He was wearing a light pink button up shirt and proceeded to rip it off, twirl it around his head and throw it into the crowd of people. He then continued doing his best Michael Jackson dance impersonation as the band began to play "Blame It On The Boogie."
At this point I decided to grab a camera phone and video taped Wood walking through the crowd up to an 80 year old women and asking her to dance. I will Youtube this later.
After the band stopped we caught a cab and went to a club called the Watermark. On the way Woody would stick his head out of the cab window and ask random people if they were married, constantly, and depending on their answer either asking why they did something so stupid, or convincing them not to ever do it, as "it's the worst." Apparently Woody has married at the age of 18 after knocking a girl up and trying to do the right thing, but the bitch took half of his $30, ruining his life and forcing him to spread his 'No Marriage' philosophy through the world.
About 15 minutes into the trip the fucking taxi driver told us he had no idea where the club was, I paid him, gave him a piece of my mind and we hopped out.
At the club, Woody and Stred realized they had spent all of their money buying strippers earlier in the night and tipping buskers on the side of the street. I offered to pay their $17 entrance fees because I am a nice guy and they promised to repay me some day.
We went into the club and within 15 minutes left because I thought it was just awful.
So we are walking back to the main road and Woody begins his usual Are You Married skit. One girl seems interested and he goes into the whole story, Stred tries to grab him to tell him to hurry the fuck on and I inform the women that they are actually Melbourne's first gay married couple. She believes me.
Back in the cab, this time the driver is kind of cool and tells us that he has 9 kids, or was it 12? I forget. Either way, he turns out to be a bigger bullshitter than even Wood.
I decide to go back to the hotel first because I hate going to different clubs wearing the same thing and the boys wait downstairs with the cab driver (who left the meter running, fucker!).
My girl and I went up stairs and changed. I tried for a quickie but realized drinking more Jagermeister was probably the better choice at that point as we didnt want to keep people waiting for an hour.
We go back downstairs and find Woody pissing on the side of my hotel and asking if we had a quickie, lol. Fucker.
So we drive to the next club, Star Club, where I had my name on the VIP list. Unfortunately we got there at 1.30 and the door list finished at 1am. Fuck. So I paid another $15 each for the boys, for myself and my girl and we went in. Saw a friend of mine finish his set, danced a little, went up stairs to smoke, yada yada yada, Woody disappears.
He turns up 30 minutes later looking pale as a ghost. I dont know if he was that drunk or if he was molested in the bathrooms, but he didnt look good. So Stred, being the "big brother" of the relationship, decided to take him home. We all agreed to meet up at the Crown Casino the following night, said our goodbyes and parted ways.
I stayed at the club for about 2 more hours before trying to get a cab back to the hotel room, which was fucking hard as no cab would take us there because it was too close and the fair wasnt enough. Fuckers.
At like 4am my girl asked me if they two boys were alright getting home and we decided to hit Stred up and he said they were fine, so we ordered room service and the rest is private.
The next night I went to the Crown Casino, rang the boys, turns out they couldnt make it as Wood had school the next day and Stred had work. Oh well. Next time guys, next time.
I on the other hand had an amazing win
.
So yes, Woody and Stred are funnier in real life. Stred is the more mature of the two. Both are awesomely funny and Stred has a problem with my menthol cigarettes. Fucker.
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Update: VIDEO!!
Here it is ladies and gentlemen, video of Woody dancing after he ripped his pink shirt off (you can see it on the floor) and walking through the crowd up to a reeallly old women wearing red and trying to chat her up.
Sorry it is so short the phone memory was pretty full
[youtube]ZjTtNnLMMcs[/youtube]
So, I rang them in the evening asking what they were doing after I finished up some shopping, this would have been about 6.30pm, and they were already at a bar by then probably drunk. I told them I'd call them in a few once I knew my movements for the night.
I went back to my hotel room had dinner started drinking took care of some stuff and then rang the boys again. No answer. Fuckers.
So the girl I was with and I decided to go meet up with some of her friends and we went to a club/bar called Cookie which forces you to climb way too many stairs to get to the top of the building for a rooftop bar. I rang the boys again. No answer. Fuckers.
A little while later we left and I rang the boys again, this time they picked up and said they were on the same street as I was (it's a long fucking street) and they'd start walking in my direction and told me to walk in theirs so they wouldnt have to walk as far and it would be quicker. I told them I'd do it, and then sat down on the chairs next to me to chain smoke a little and wait for them.
Getting bored waiting for them we got up and started listening to some buskers on the street corner, an Asian group singing old Motown hits. They were actually pretty good.
It is at that point that I spotted Stred and Woody and we said our hellos and continued listening to the singers and smoking. Stred seemed sober, Woody, not so much. He was wearing a light pink button up shirt and proceeded to rip it off, twirl it around his head and throw it into the crowd of people. He then continued doing his best Michael Jackson dance impersonation as the band began to play "Blame It On The Boogie."
At this point I decided to grab a camera phone and video taped Wood walking through the crowd up to an 80 year old women and asking her to dance. I will Youtube this later.
After the band stopped we caught a cab and went to a club called the Watermark. On the way Woody would stick his head out of the cab window and ask random people if they were married, constantly, and depending on their answer either asking why they did something so stupid, or convincing them not to ever do it, as "it's the worst." Apparently Woody has married at the age of 18 after knocking a girl up and trying to do the right thing, but the bitch took half of his $30, ruining his life and forcing him to spread his 'No Marriage' philosophy through the world.
About 15 minutes into the trip the fucking taxi driver told us he had no idea where the club was, I paid him, gave him a piece of my mind and we hopped out.
At the club, Woody and Stred realized they had spent all of their money buying strippers earlier in the night and tipping buskers on the side of the street. I offered to pay their $17 entrance fees because I am a nice guy and they promised to repay me some day.
We went into the club and within 15 minutes left because I thought it was just awful.
So we are walking back to the main road and Woody begins his usual Are You Married skit. One girl seems interested and he goes into the whole story, Stred tries to grab him to tell him to hurry the fuck on and I inform the women that they are actually Melbourne's first gay married couple. She believes me.
Back in the cab, this time the driver is kind of cool and tells us that he has 9 kids, or was it 12? I forget. Either way, he turns out to be a bigger bullshitter than even Wood.
I decide to go back to the hotel first because I hate going to different clubs wearing the same thing and the boys wait downstairs with the cab driver (who left the meter running, fucker!).
My girl and I went up stairs and changed. I tried for a quickie but realized drinking more Jagermeister was probably the better choice at that point as we didnt want to keep people waiting for an hour.
We go back downstairs and find Woody pissing on the side of my hotel and asking if we had a quickie, lol. Fucker.
So we drive to the next club, Star Club, where I had my name on the VIP list. Unfortunately we got there at 1.30 and the door list finished at 1am. Fuck. So I paid another $15 each for the boys, for myself and my girl and we went in. Saw a friend of mine finish his set, danced a little, went up stairs to smoke, yada yada yada, Woody disappears.
He turns up 30 minutes later looking pale as a ghost. I dont know if he was that drunk or if he was molested in the bathrooms, but he didnt look good. So Stred, being the "big brother" of the relationship, decided to take him home. We all agreed to meet up at the Crown Casino the following night, said our goodbyes and parted ways.
I stayed at the club for about 2 more hours before trying to get a cab back to the hotel room, which was fucking hard as no cab would take us there because it was too close and the fair wasnt enough. Fuckers.
At like 4am my girl asked me if they two boys were alright getting home and we decided to hit Stred up and he said they were fine, so we ordered room service and the rest is private.
The next night I went to the Crown Casino, rang the boys, turns out they couldnt make it as Wood had school the next day and Stred had work. Oh well. Next time guys, next time.
I on the other hand had an amazing win
.So yes, Woody and Stred are funnier in real life. Stred is the more mature of the two. Both are awesomely funny and Stred has a problem with my menthol cigarettes. Fucker.
----------
Update: VIDEO!!
Here it is ladies and gentlemen, video of Woody dancing after he ripped his pink shirt off (you can see it on the floor) and walking through the crowd up to a reeallly old women wearing red and trying to chat her up.
Sorry it is so short the phone memory was pretty full
[youtube]ZjTtNnLMMcs[/youtube]
