Undercover smarty-pants

[Synful*Luv]

Curious..

I've noticed, not just here, but on most social networking platforms.. there is a huge amount of really intelligent and insightful people. People who will do research to defend a point, people well-versed in many different topics, people who can actually see both points of an argument and are able to agree to disagree without having their feelings hurt.

However, I rarely run into people like this in day to day activities in the real world. I have to admit, oftentimes even I am slower to prove a point in real life the way I would do online. Slower still am I to tell someone their opinion is flawed and explain why.

Why do you guys think this is? Is anyone else like this? Or do you defend your thoughts and opinions in the real world with the same vigor that you do online? On the contrasting end.. would you jump into a conversation just to say "boobs" as you might online?

Discuss pls.:?

 

[vg4030]

most of my logic arguments are spur of the moment and I say them immediately in real life, just as online.
The thing with online is, that mot people have time to either research and argument or at least think about it before posting.

So their point is better articulated than if you ran into them on the street and put a question to them.

 

[THEV1LL4N]

in real life conversations i feel people just make quick comments and say what they feel and the turn taking process is a whole lot quicker.

online, people get their "time" to write whatever they like. the turn taking process is slower, though people can choose how long or detailed they want their response to be. anyone and everyone can get their say and therefore they have the "time" to formulate an argument or opinion as opposed to a verbal conversation where turn-taking cues are given to allow someone else to have a go.

i find that in a verbal conversation a lot of people get interrupted and this isnt the case here; though the comment may become irrelevant if the topic advances onto another point. this would only occur if the writer submits their post after a much delayed point in time.

on a forum, people have time to do their research and gather their opinions taking as much time as they like and go back and edit the text before they even submit. maybe evem edit it after its been submitted. this cannot happen in real life verbal communication. if so, it may cause a lot of confusion as to what the speaker actually intends to put across to the recipient.

 

[Flipmo]

I tend to be a lot more calm when arguing online, and in person I've been told that I'm very passionnate when arguing. I think that is because you have the internet and ressources to back you up when argueing online, you don't have to rely on charisma, and other factors you'd have in real life, which you don't online.
It's not like you can argue in person and yell out quotes like "AND I QUOTE THE 1999 STUDY OF RICHARD JENKINS", unless you have a great memory...

I know what you mean though, I find it very difficult to have serious conversations with people in the real world, I dunno if it's me, but people are fucking morons in real life. lol. I can't talk to someone who is apathetic to current affairs or has none to little general knowledge of the world.

 

[Synful*Luv]

most of my logic arguments are spur of the moment and I say them immediately in real life, just as online.
The thing with online is, that mot people have time to either research and argument or at least think about it before posting.

So their point is better articulated than if you ran into them on the street and put a question to them.

Do you think most people actually go through great lengths to research a response online? Not on, perhaps a forum attached to a news site, I can see that. But on your every day Fan Based site, you think people research answers?

(not being sarcastic, just a FYI)

in real life conversations i feel people just make quick comments and say what they feel and the turn taking process is a whole lot quicker.

online, people get their "time" to write whatever they like. the turn taking process is slower, though people can choose how long or detailed they want their response to be. anyone and everyone can get their say and therefore they have the "time" to formulate an argument or opinion as opposed to a verbal conversation where turn-taking cues are given to allow someone else to have a go.

i find that in a verbal conversation a lot of people get interrupted and this isnt the case here; though the comment may become irrelevant if the topic advances onto another point. this would only occur if the writer submits their post after a much delayed point in time.

on a forum, people have time to do their research and gather their opinions taking as much time as they like and go back and edit the text before they even submit. maybe evem edit it after its been submitted. this cannot happen in real life verbal communication. if so, it may cause a lot of confusion as to what the speaker actually intends to put across to the recipient.

Hmmm.. so you're the second one to suggest research is involved. I wouldn't have guessed people would take the time, but if that is the case.. I can definitely say that i'm impressed.

 

[masta247]

I think that people who argue the most in real life are not smart while those who have enough knowledge can't be bothered to discuss - you can't show any evidence like here posting valid links to convince someone.
Ignorant guys usually develop their ways to make them sound more convincing about what they say. I hear stupid opinions way often in real life than here. In real life a person can rarely be proven wrong as most people have no knowledge on that subject and can't check that on the go. Someone who does can't be bothered to do so as it's harder to achieve anything by trying.
I find it really annoying sometimes. Here a few links would solve it all, people who have no idea on something would either remain silent (just in case they could be proven wrong) or would do their research beforehand. Also spectators could do their own research instead of instantly believing someone.
That's why I think more people feel safer with claiming stupid points they don't really know much about in real life.

fe. it's easier to say "x sucks" (just an uneducated opinion) and then make up some reasons instead of thinking about all valid arguments, why is it really true or not. Also the first one sounds convincing enough for the audience and the one who made that up can feel smart for a moment and if someone questions him he would defend his "opinions" not fearing for constructive evidence claiming otherwise. Sometimes they might even believe what they just said.
Also people who use the internet way often seem to be smarter. They wouldn't believe a claim without evidence.

Even after spending some time here discussion in real life seems noobish to me.

 

[Synful*Luv]

I tend to be a lot more calm when arguing online, and in person I've been told that I'm very passionnate when arguing.

I'm the exact opposite, super laid back IRL but online I can get passionate depending on the topic.

I think that is because you have the internet and ressources to back you up when argueing online, you don't have to rely on charisma, and other factors you'd have in real life, which you don't online.
It's not like you can argue in person and yell out quotes like "AND I QUOTE THE 1999 STUDY OF RICHARD JENKINS", unless you have a great memory...

True, you can go and find proof of what you're saying online vs IRL. In regards to quoting a study or something, I HAVE actually done that before. I'll say something like "thanks to Title II of the Equal Rights Act of 1964 the Scouts of America won't be letting my kids in" and people just give me a blank stare whereas online perhaps they would google it to find out why.

I know what you mean though, I find it very difficult to have serious conversations with people in the real world, I dunno if it's me, but people are fucking morons in real life. lol. I can't talk to someone who is apathetic to current affairs or has none to little general knowledge of the world.

A lot of the time.. its not worth wasting the time and effort to form coherent sentences to debate things with people IRL. Not only that, but I like to pause and think about what i'm going to say.. for some reason that pisses people off I've noticed. They're like "just spit it out" as opposed to appreciating that i'm considering their question and trying to come up with a GOOD answer vs just any old answer. LOL

 

[vg4030]

Do you think most people actually go through great lengths to research a response online? Not on, perhaps a forum attached to a news site, I can see that. But on your every day Fan Based site, you think people research answers?

(not being sarcastic, just a FYI)

Yeah for sure. Just look on this site and see how many people quote sources etc when making a point. I know we are not discussing hip hop or whatever but still people take the time. look at the soft drink thread for example.

Even in the music Im sure people look up facts to back up their arguments. Casey has loooong ass posts with quotes etc whenever someone mentions Prince! Im sure some is from memory but not all of it.

 

[Synful*Luv]

Yeah for sure. Just look on this site and see how many people quote sources etc when making a point. I know we are not discussing hip hop or whatever but still people take the time. look at the soft drink thread for example.

Even in the music Im sure people look up facts to back up their arguments. Casey has loooong ass posts with quotes etc whenever someone mentions Prince! Im sure some is from memory but not all of it.

I guess so, and even though I've not really thought about it much.. I guess I do the same thing, lol. I will certainly google something to make sure I have the information correct before posting it.

 

[Preach]

I am way nicer in real life. I believe in the quality of social interactions and in respecting others for who they are. I wouldn't defend dilla IRL if he acted that way IRL. I'm generally the kind of guy that would be easy to take advantage of because I am naive, kind and trusting. I am this way because all my opinions about what people are truly like ultimately stems from my own self-image. I except from others what I would be capable of doing myself. That's why I'm naive, like that shit with my ex, because I would never steal money. I don't want to steal money, even when I'm broke. I'm not comfortable being "that person", it is not the self-image I respect.

Anyway, point being, most of what I would ever accuse a person of doing wrong is a conclusion I came to through analyzing my own behavior as well as others, but maybe I'm extra nasty/mean/selfish/whatever compared to others. Online I can say something that changes everyone's perspective of me, and I can just leave and go to another forum. IRL it's not as easy, and people also don't admit things so easily.

This turned out very abstract so I'll make an example: I think that most women are cynical and selfish, way more so than they want to admit. The running gag of the century is that guys are assholes, but my experience is that guys are the ones that ultimately put up with bitchy ass girlfriends who do nothing but demand shit and who wants to be in total control of everything. Again, I speak that opinion from my point of view, and in my POV it's very true, because it is a reflection of my personal experience with women. So are they fucking bitches or am I a delusional asshole? Maybe it's their instinctive reaction to my very personality (naive, kind). Maybe they do it cause I let them.

Conclusion: I lack confidence in my persona to fight as vigorously for my points IRL as I do on forums. The cost of being wrong is too high. I'm just an insecure bitch.

 

[Flipmo]

*Hugs Preach*

 

[Synful*Luv]

Preach:

Do you think the two are related? Maybe you are so confident online because you're not as confident IRL? Did the RL personality spawn the online personality I mean.

 

[THEV1LL4N]

Do you think most people actually go through great lengths to research a response online? Not on, perhaps a forum attached to a news site, I can see that. But on your every day Fan Based site, you think people research answers?

(not being sarcastic, just a FYI)



Hmmm.. so you're the second one to suggest research is involved. I wouldn't have guessed people would take the time, but if that is the case.. I can definitely say that i'm impressed.

i think so yes, but its down to the individual really. we cant just generalise this behaviour/action to the whole of the internet of the forum.

personally speaking, if i was to make a contribution and i didnt have too much knowledge on that particular topic, i could either make a comment which would probably be useless or i could get some facts and more information by doing a little background reading/research and make a contribution that can actually further the discussion and hance be more valuable.

people may post what they feel, others may post what they think is right. some may post facts, even if they dont agree with them just to make their point.

 

[Preach]

Preach:

Do you think the two are related? Maybe you are so confident online because you're not as confident IRL? Did the RL personality spawn the online personality I mean.

Absolutely, that's what it started as like six or seven years ago. I wouldn't say I'm insecure in real life anymore. I am who I am and accept myself without fearing the opinions of others, so to me that means not feeling insecure about myself as a person and how people percieve me anymore.

It's possible that seeing how people accepted some of the things I were insecure about when I posted them here helped kill some insecurities for me. The power of having someone agree with you is not to be underestimated.

My insecurity came from the fact that I had very little social interaction for a series of years and it came to the point where I had problems differentiating between outlandish and realistic ideas/thoughts. So I guess in my head I had a desire to be a headstrong person, but IRL I wasn't. So I turned myself into one and posted strong opinions. Some times they were declined and I was proven wrong and had to swallow my pride. Some times I nailed people's arguments with my logic. It helped me sort which thoughts/ideas were good/okay and which were just stupid emo stoner bullshit. So pushing things to the extreme on these boards and never giving in until I absolutely had to was a way for me to validate my thoughts which in turn made me realize that they aren't as silly as I once though.

But yes, my insecurity IRL definitely had something to do with my self-imposed superior way of addressing people/issues.

 

[Sebastian]

I have to say in enjoy debating on a message board over the real life alternative.

The simple reason is: People get caught up in emotions way too quickly. You can hardly discuss anything without them getting personal.

It makes it a lot easier over the internet if you dont have to face certain things like the other person starting to raise his voice, for example. So its easier to keep it on a reason/argument-orientated level.

 

[2Pax]

I have to say in enjoy debating on a message board over the real life alternative.

The simple reason is: People get caught up in emotions way too quickly. You can hardly discuss anything without them getting personal.

It makes it a lot easier over the internet if you dont have to face certain things like the other person starting to raise his voice, for example. So its easier to keep it on a reason/argument-orientated level.

This is true, on a forum we tend to wait for the conversationalist's reply before responding. This is not always the case out in the open.

 

[S O F I]

The underlying theme of this thread is the extent to which social networks have led to a decline in "real life" communication skills.

 

[Casey]

Casey has loooong ass posts with quotes etc whenever someone mentions Prince! Im sure some is from memory but not all of it.

99% of what I say about music online is from memory. Very rarely do I need to look something up, and on those rare occasions, it nearly always confirms what I was thinking.

I have a spongelike memory, I absorb literally everything. It's probably my best quality. It actually really surprises people.

Go and take a look at my long ass MJ/Prince post that I recently made in "The Screen" subform, in the Michael Jackson "This Is It" topic. The post where I'm talking about Michael, Janet, Prince, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, Alexander O' Neal, The Time, etc.

I wrote all of that of the top of my head, no error checking, no looking up information, none of that shit. It's just that when it comes to topics I'm passionate about, I want to learn as much as I can, and I never forget the things I learn.

 

[Shadows]

I'm the exact opposite, super laid back IRL but online I can get passionate depending on the topic.



True, you can go and find proof of what you're saying online vs IRL. In regards to quoting a study or something, I HAVE actually done that before. I'll say something like "thanks to Title II of the Equal Rights Act of 1964 the Scouts of America won't be letting my kids in" and people just give me a blank stare whereas online perhaps they would google it to find out why.




A lot of the time.. its not worth wasting the time and effort to form coherent sentences to debate things with people IRL. Not only that, but I like to pause and think about what i'm going to say.. for some reason that pisses people off I've noticed. They're like "just spit it out" as opposed to appreciating that i'm considering their question and trying to come up with a GOOD answer vs just any old answer. LOL

This is why you don't 'run into those people,' because i'm sure you don't go to quiet people and have a long discussion about why Obama won the noble prize, do you? People are based on their image too much that you won't do it.

Also, a lot of people that are capable of this don't want JUST your opinion. People use message boards to get their point across to many people, whether they are correct or not. It leaves everything open for debate that you can't have with several people in the same house because there will always be distractions, or those people will be too different to be on the same discussion.

99% of what I say about music online is from memory. Very rarely do I need to look something up, and on those rare occasions, it nearly always confirms what I was thinking.

I have a spongelike memory, I absorb literally everything. It's probably my best quality. It actually really surprises people.

Go and take a look at my long ass MJ/Prince post that I recently made in "The Screen" subform, in the Michael Jackson "This Is It" topic. The post where I'm talking about Michael, Janet, Prince, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, Alexander O' Neal, The Time, etc.

I wrote all of that of the top of my head, no error checking, no looking up information, none of that shit. It's just that when it comes to topics I'm passionate about, I want to learn as much as I can, and I never forget the things I learn.

I was just about to say this.

Just about everything I type is from memory. I'm very much like Casey because I pay attention to detail. Maybe it's because our parents where never around we had to pay attention to detail to learn and be ahead of everyone. Very much like Casey, I have an ego that I must feed.


I never get info online to argue anything unless the person doesn't believe me. Like once, I debated with my step dad about a football players stats, and we went online to look it up.

That's my thing. Football, with music second.

I'm sure Casey can do music off the top of his head, with something else close 2nd too.

In summary, people can argue with factual evidence without needing the internet based on their life experience and what they already know without the internet. It just seems like they go out of their way to research something, but it's not the case, it's just to prove a point on something they already know.


@ Preach, oh yah. Joining the msg board helped confidence me to be able to speak my mind more b/c i felt like i was correct. So, b/c of that i am more confident...

 

[Synful*Luv]

The underlying theme of this thread is the extent to which social networks have led to a decline in "real life" communication skills.

True.. lol. (don't forget about the texting influence) I've actually had someone say "lol" to me in real life *giggle*

Another way to look at it is that it gives socially awkward people an outlet. They may be "lame" and get picked on in real life but online they can be whoever they want. They can have friends, be smart and funny, etc. So that may make up for their lack of a "real life".

I wonder if teen suicide has gone down thanks to social networking?

*randon ideas*