When (if ever) is it okay to step in?

[ArtsyGirl]

The yelling isn't so shocking, although I think it's disgusting to speak to kids like that (or anyone for that matter) but what's more concerning is the smelling of weed, dirty stuff. Thats what you see, can't imagine what would be going on inside.

You'd have to judge it, but people like that I'm not sure if I'd want to approach on this type of thing, could be dangerous. I think Child Protection might have a better idea on this and I'm sure they wouldn't be taken away if they are safe. You gotta think about how you'd feel if you do nothing and something horrible happens to them.

 

[Elmira]

What you have described sounds a lot like neglect, not abuse. Yet I would say to keep your eyes on the family, as studies show that neglect is the most common symptom of child abuse, and could later on lead to more serious crimes, such as physical, sexual, psychological abuse, etc. I wouldn't contact child services, but definitely keep an eye out for more warning signs.

 

[_carmi]

You can't really do anything about the yelling and swearing. I see it everywhere at the malls, stores, etc... It seems to me that now parents (mothers for the most part in my experience) swear the most at their kids, flip out for every little crap or just plain and simple neglect them. I dunno, but this new generation of parents are really horrible at taking their responsibilities as a father or mother at hand...

The screaming reminds me of my mother. My mom was a good mom, she fed me, clothed me, gave me a proper education, etc. But she had a short temper and would lose her shit for dumb shit (I wasn't beat up by her, fyi). That's the reason why I moved out. But that's not neglect, some people just don't have the patience for kids and some people just constantly need to fight for unimportant details.

If the kids smell like Marijuana, that's pretty bad and neglect right there.
CPS, imo.

That's pretty bad. I agree.

Also Syn, you mentioned how the kids were out there asking for food. I don't think that it necessarily means they aren't being fed properly. My sister used to be like that and believe me if anything we were overfed lol. Some kids just want other people's shit because it just looks better. The neighbour's grass is always greener.

If I had to step in, I'd probably step in because of the marijuana. Kids shouldn't be exposed to that shit so young.

 

[Synful*Luv]

i'd also say keep an eye out on the situation, but don't become active in the situation. i see where you're coming from with your dilemma...

just wondering, you talk about neglect. do the kids seem as though they have good clothing, school gear etc or is it evident they're being neglected from those necessities too... this question comes from the thought of them having rugged hair and smelling of marijuana.

Is the lady a single parent or does she have a partner who helps out? if so, how is he with his approach?

Is this the kind of thing that happens on a regular as in daily basis? Are the kids naughty, good or mischievous as kids usually are? i.e. from what you've seen, do they give reasons to be shouted at? or is the mum shouting at them totally unnecessary in those situations?

They always look.. IDK... not dirty but just not clean. Wrinkled clothes that smell like marijuana that may be "dingy" but certainly not like filled with spots from leftover food. She lives with her husband.. also a stoner. Every time I see him, he's high and seems to have no idea what's going on. Yesterday he stopped me at the park and told me that Native Americans have a special pipe you can smoke that helps you find out when the end of the world is near and that CNN and FOX just don't want us to know about it.. wtf? Damn hippies. His approach is hands off for the most part. Or something like "little lady, if you want food you will attain food" while he never moves to go inside and find her something to eat.

Frequently that I see them, but i'm not around all the time. At least several times per week. The kids aren't "bad" IMO (and I hate kids lol). Most of the time, the kids are being quite reasonable "asking for a sweater or food" when the mom lays in on them because their request will inconvenience her. They also spend A LOT of time alone. I've recently let the stink monsters into my home to feed them. Magically, they didn't break anything like kids tend to do. Or touch anything. They were really polite.

What you have described sounds a lot like neglect, not abuse. Yet I would say to keep your eyes on the family, as studies show that neglect is the most common symptom of child abuse, and could later on lead to more serious crimes, such as physical, sexual, psychological abuse, etc. I wouldn't contact child services, but definitely keep an eye out for more warning signs.

In my humble opinion.. definitely seems like verbal abuse and neglect. My dilemma is, like I said, when do you step in? If ever? Maybe the kids will be better off somewhere else and there's a relative who can take them. Or maybe they'll get stuck in the system and turn into little gangbangers. Or maybe growing up at home they'll be okay because they have each other? Who knows.

Also Syn, you mentioned how the kids were out there asking for food. I don't think that it necessarily means they aren't being fed properly. My sister used to be like that and believe me if anything we were overfed lol. Some kids just want other people's shit because it just looks better. The neighbour's grass is always greener.

If I had to step in, I'd probably step in because of the marijuana. Kids shouldn't be exposed to that shit so young.

See, that's the other viewpoint! Are they actually hungry or are they just begging because they don't want to eat what their parents are giving them? There's no way to know. Everything is so circumstantial. But in my gut.. I worry for these kids when I see them.