Not mine:
"it all started when i was 5 or 6 years old, me and my mother were in a car one day when a news story on the radio started talking about prostitutes.
me not knowing what a prostitute was and craving knowledge asked my mother,
Me: mom what s a prostitute? My Mom: A lady who sells her body to men.
Hmmm... i thought to myself as my mind started to wonder how that was possible.
--> http://i.imgur.com/JD2eY.png <--- NSFW cartoon drawing of what i was thinking
Me wanting to make sure he had this right, once again asked his mother.
Me: so she cuts off parts of her body and sells them? My mother without hesitation gave a firm YES in the OK now drop the subject kind of tone.
i folded up my newly found knowledge and tucked it deep into my brain knowing one day it would become useful to me.
fast forward a month or so to Thanksgiving
The house is full of extended family and friends, and i notice that a female family member who i distinctively remembered having boobs the last time he saw her, Now no longer had them.
Whoa she must be a prostitute! i thought to myself.
fast forward to dinner time on thanksgiving the whole family is sitting at the table eating. its quiet, and i decide to break the silence.
asking from across the table to the female relative who no longer had boobs
Me: So how much money did you get?
with a quizzical look on her face she asked Her: What do you mean?
Me: well you're a prostitute right?
and with that my mother started choking on turkey, my grandmother started crying, and to this day i have never heard my father and grandfather laugh as long and uncontrollably as they did at that moment. the rest of the family at the table not knowing how to react just looked down at their plates and kept eating.
once my mother stopped choking she slapped me across the back of my head and started yelling at me, told me to say sorry and to explain myself.
i then went on to tell the story of how i heard about them in the car and how i had asked my mother what a prostitute was and what i had made up in my head to help understand it.
i continued on telling how i had noticed the female family member no longer had boobs and that i had just assumed...
I grew smarter that day as i not only learned what breast cancer was, but also what a prostitute actually did.
fast forward to next thanksgiving the family had instituted the "kids table" which for many years until the rest of the family started reproducing was just me sitting by myself in a different room eating thanksgiving dinner alone.
fast forward to present day even though the female family member with no boobs has long since passed away, I now 24 years of age is still not allowed to sit at the main adult table at thanksgiving.
the end
TLDR: Called female family member with breast cancer a prostitute during thanksgiving dinner when i was like 5"
"it all started when i was 5 or 6 years old, me and my mother were in a car one day when a news story on the radio started talking about prostitutes.
me not knowing what a prostitute was and craving knowledge asked my mother,
Me: mom what s a prostitute? My Mom: A lady who sells her body to men.
Hmmm... i thought to myself as my mind started to wonder how that was possible.
--> http://i.imgur.com/JD2eY.png <--- NSFW cartoon drawing of what i was thinking
Me wanting to make sure he had this right, once again asked his mother.
Me: so she cuts off parts of her body and sells them? My mother without hesitation gave a firm YES in the OK now drop the subject kind of tone.
i folded up my newly found knowledge and tucked it deep into my brain knowing one day it would become useful to me.
fast forward a month or so to Thanksgiving
The house is full of extended family and friends, and i notice that a female family member who i distinctively remembered having boobs the last time he saw her, Now no longer had them.
Whoa she must be a prostitute! i thought to myself.
fast forward to dinner time on thanksgiving the whole family is sitting at the table eating. its quiet, and i decide to break the silence.
asking from across the table to the female relative who no longer had boobs
Me: So how much money did you get?
with a quizzical look on her face she asked Her: What do you mean?
Me: well you're a prostitute right?
and with that my mother started choking on turkey, my grandmother started crying, and to this day i have never heard my father and grandfather laugh as long and uncontrollably as they did at that moment. the rest of the family at the table not knowing how to react just looked down at their plates and kept eating.
once my mother stopped choking she slapped me across the back of my head and started yelling at me, told me to say sorry and to explain myself.
i then went on to tell the story of how i heard about them in the car and how i had asked my mother what a prostitute was and what i had made up in my head to help understand it.
i continued on telling how i had noticed the female family member no longer had boobs and that i had just assumed...
I grew smarter that day as i not only learned what breast cancer was, but also what a prostitute actually did.
fast forward to next thanksgiving the family had instituted the "kids table" which for many years until the rest of the family started reproducing was just me sitting by myself in a different room eating thanksgiving dinner alone.
fast forward to present day even though the female family member with no boobs has long since passed away, I now 24 years of age is still not allowed to sit at the main adult table at thanksgiving.
the end
TLDR: Called female family member with breast cancer a prostitute during thanksgiving dinner when i was like 5"
