SEX-your first time

Helena

Active Member
#1
i was having a conversation with one of my friends who is an 19yr old virgin, she has been seeing a guy for two years and still has not had sex with him. she told me it was because she felt she wasn't ready and that her worst fear was having losing virginity to the wrong guy. Now her boyfreind wants it bad (he aint a virgin) and she's gettin a lil worried cuz she thinks he will leave her over it.

anyway...that is not the point of this thread^it just got me thinking. what i wanted to know was about you ppls first experience. did u lose your virginity too early? do u regret doing it? was it with the wrong/right person?

the guy i lost my virginity to..well i thought the sun shined out of his arse! i was a young 16yr old then. he made me feel real special..used to send me flowers and write me poems...real romantic guy. i thought i was in love with him. after about 5months i had sex with him.it hurt like hell when he first entered me. but after that, it was fine. i don't regret doing it but i feel like i should have waited.

anyone else wanna share their experience?
 
#2
I have a lot of respect for people who are virgins waiting for the right guy. I think it's sweet. Looking at friends of mine, some of them waited a long time... some still are virgins. I can see that it is a big deal but unless you are waiting till marriage, then I dont think there is any way to know if someone is the right guy... If this guy has waited for two years, he's obviously a good kinda guy... I've seen relationships break up much sooner over pressure to have sex. But if after this long she is not certain, then perhaps she never will be indicating that he is not right. Ultimately this should be her decision based on how comfortable she feels with the idea, of course his desires should be taken into account but I think it would be wrong for her to lose her virginity simply because she feared losing him... she should want to for her own reasons, not simply his.

Anyway, that wasnt the point of the thread, so I'll get to that, lol. I dont regret losing my virginity when I did, but by the same account if I lived my life over I would probably do things differently. It wasnt too early for me, it felt right at the time and thats what I have to judge the decision on. Although perhaps it would have been better for me to wait for 'the right guy.' I wasnt in love the guy I lost it to, I hardly saw him again. There wasnt a great build up to it, it wasnt romantic. From my point of view though, I never placed sex on a pedestal. It wasnt something I was cautious of, I wasnt scared of losing my virginity. I just saw it as another experience in life. I realise now that sex is nothing without love and wouldnt want to do it without meaning anymore... but I needed to learn that.... and if I hadnt have done things the way I did, I probably wouldnt have realised the value of sex and love. I'm a person that needs to try everything, make mistakes etc so that in retrospect I can use what I have learnt to take the right direction in the future.
 

_carmi

me, myself & us
#3
yeah for the girl 19 years old girl, the guy is really good if he waited 2 years for her. at some point for him it must be really hard. 2 years is really long. the girl is certainly doing the right thing toward, but toward her bf i dont think she's really fair.. whatever.

1st time? wasnt so long ago. lol well before i had had sex but like whatever it was my 1st time but i dont count it as 1 cuz we did 2-3 in and outs and then 2 weeks later i dumped the guy that was my former bestfriend too because i never loved him. he just got to be my bf cuz 5 days ago i had broke up from a 11 month relation (with no sex) and i was searching for affection and somewhat my best friend loved me and i went out with him. desesperated i know.. but whatever. real first time with my actual bf. we waited 4 month (or i made him wait lol) and i dont regret. i've never put sex on a pedestal like amara, but i had always told myself that at least its going to be with someone that i love or like, not a bf that i had just for replacementg that i totally disliked. and no it didnt hurt.
 

k69atie

SicC's Love
#4
I lost my viginity at 16, i don't regret it, as i loved him he was a couple of years older than me and after we slept with each other we went through a lot of problems, him snorting a too much of a certain white powder for one, i started thinking he thought that was more important than me, i got really down about it and ended up snogging one of his mates. anyway to cut a long story short (and believe me it is long!) i was horrible to him and i really regret it now cos i think he could have been the one
 

keco52

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#5
I was 16 also. It was with one of my really good friends. We dated a few months...and I was so curious. I wasn't in love. He was. We were watching a movie one night and I pretty much raped him. lol. I don't regret it at all. It was a learning experience. He respected me and I cared about him and that was all that mattered at the time. It was very casual like "You wanna try this postion?" It was not at all "making love" anywho...thats about it.
 

_carmi

me, myself & us
#6
k69atie said:
I lost my viginity at 16, i don't regret it, as i loved him he was a couple of years older than me and after we slept with each other we went through a lot of problems, him snorting a too much of a certain white powder for one, i started thinking he thought that was more important than me, i got really down about it and ended up snogging one of his mates. anyway to cut a long story short (and believe me it is long!) i was horrible to him and i really regret it now cos i think he could have been the one
nono i want the long version of this story :p awww well u know if u didnt like his habit, maybe he wasnt the one. do u still talk to him?
 
#7
i just lost mine and to be honest i regret it. i was going to wait till i got married but this guy that i am with man i love him so much and i always had a crush on him for the longest time. So after two month of being together with him i gave it up to him, he told me that he would wait till we got married but then on the other hand he kinda pressured me into it. The weired thing is how he changed towards me he thinks he has soo much control over me. I know he loves me and i love him, i just wish that i wouldve waited. What i dont understand is i had bfs before him and i went out with them longer than i am with this guy and i didnt want to do it with any of them .
oh well i love him but i really have ALOT of respect to girls who are virgins/
 

Synful*Luv

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#8
I was 18 when I lost mines, I don't regret it, the guy I was with wasn't the one I ended up marrying, but who knows, maybe we will end up together, only time will tell. I loved him then and I still love him now, so I have no regrets at all.
 
#10
And yeah, major props to the ladies who hold on to theres. And to the ladies who've found they're soul mate, Mr. Right, and lost their virginity to them. Nothing better than caring for someone and giving them your mind, body, and soul. :thumb: :thumb:
 
#12
_carmi said:
nono i want the long version of this story :p awww well u know if u didnt like his habit, maybe he wasnt the one. do u still talk to him?
No i haven't spoke to him for about 3 years or so now. Basically we were always spliting up and getting back together, we split for good, he kept phoning me all the time at like 1am in the morn crying and telling me how much he loved me, how sorry he was for putting coke before me, this went on for ages after we split up, then he started to sit outside my house in his car (he lived about 30 miles away too so wasn't like i lived round the corner) and when he was sat outside he would ring and ask ne what i was up to.

anyway the stalking eventually stopped, we got back together briefy on millenium eve, i was pissed thought it was a good idea, at 12pm everyone was kissing peeps and saying happy new year, he saw me kissing the guy i cheated on him with and started crying in the middle of the pub, we went back to his mates house after the pub shut had a massive argument (i can't even remember what about now, but he sat outside crying for about 2 hours). we split up after that.

after that it seemed like everytime i split up with someone he was always there, i wouldn't see him for ages and then like the day i got dumped he was in the pub, we went for a smoke had a laugh etc. but nothing would ever happen (he had a g/f at uni probably). then about a year later we went out for a drink ( i had a boyf then) that was about 3 - 4 years ago haven't seen / heard from him since then. i keep thinking i will find his home number and ring him but i wouldn't know what to say.

told you it was long!! lol


i have found his number, do i ring it???? i rang i spoke to his mum, he was at work (which i knew he would be at this time) she said he's at work, whos calling i said its katie i will call back later, do you think she will tell him i called?
 
#13
I was 4months away from being 20 when i lost mine...it was with my ex, we weren't even dating yet but there was something that told me he was the right one, we were together for 3.5yrs. he treated me like shit for most of them but i didn't leave bc i had always told myself i would wait until i was with "tthe One"...but then i got smart and finally left him....do i regret it? no i don't bc i always say everything happens for a reason and every decision you make makes you who you are today!
 
#14
well... nice topic... actually I haven't had my first time yet :S that's quite a confession, lol. It's not something i like talking about, all my friends had their first time and sometimes i feel so stupid... But I want to wait till i meet someone I love, I don't want to spoil that moment. I tend to be too sentimental sometimes, and I'd like it to be special, so I don't mind if I have to wait until I find the right one... actually I don't care about sex a lot, it's love what makes me feel sad, not the lack of sex :(



edit: it's great to have a place to talk about this topics without all the guys making fun of it :D
 
#15
Missy "C" said:
well... nice topic... actually I haven't had my first time yet :S that's quite a confession, lol. It's not something i like talking about, all my friends had their first time and sometimes i feel so stupid... But I want to wait till i meet someone I love, I don't want to spoil that moment. I tend to be too sentimental sometimes, and I'd like it to be special, so I don't mind if I have to wait until I find the right one... actually I don't care about sex a lot, it's love what makes me feel sad, not the lack of sex :(



edit: it's great to have a place to talk about this topics without all the guys making fun of it :D
good for you, don't feel stupid about it be PROUD of it!! i was a very proud virgin, everyone knew and many ppl respected me for it!
 

_carmi

me, myself & us
#17
k69atie said:
No i haven't spoke to him for about 3 years or so now. Basically we were always spliting up and getting back together, we split for good, he kept phoning me all the time at like 1am in the morn crying and telling me how much he loved me, how sorry he was for putting coke before me, this went on for ages after we split up, then he started to sit outside my house in his car (he lived about 30 miles away too so wasn't like i lived round the corner) and when he was sat outside he would ring and ask ne what i was up to.

anyway the stalking eventually stopped, we got back together briefy on millenium eve, i was pissed thought it was a good idea, at 12pm everyone was kissing peeps and saying happy new year, he saw me kissing the guy i cheated on him with and started crying in the middle of the pub, we went back to his mates house after the pub shut had a massive argument (i can't even remember what about now, but he sat outside crying for about 2 hours). we split up after that.

after that it seemed like everytime i split up with someone he was always there, i wouldn't see him for ages and then like the day i got dumped he was in the pub, we went for a smoke had a laugh etc. but nothing would ever happen (he had a g/f at uni probably). then about a year later we went out for a drink ( i had a boyf then) that was about 3 - 4 years ago haven't seen / heard from him since then. i keep thinking i will find his home number and ring him but i wouldn't know what to say.

told you it was long!! lol


i have found his number, do i ring it???? i rang i spoke to his mum, he was at work (which i knew he would be at this time) she said he's at work, whos calling i said its katie i will call back later, do you think she will tell him i called?
sad story kinda. i hope she told him u called so he'll call back. i just hope he's glad that u searched for him.
 
#18
Missy "C" said:
well... nice topic... actually I haven't had my first time yet :S that's quite a confession, lol. It's not something i like talking about, all my friends had their first time and sometimes i feel so stupid... But I want to wait till i meet someone I love, I don't want to spoil that moment. I tend to be too sentimental sometimes, and I'd like it to be special, so I don't mind if I have to wait until I find the right one... actually I don't care about sex a lot, it's love what makes me feel sad, not the lack of sex :(



edit: it's great to have a place to talk about this topics without all the guys making fun of it :D
Good for you, and don't feel stupid, like kellie said you should be proud !
 
#19
_carmi said:
sad story kinda. i hope she told him u called so he'll call back. i just hope he's glad that u searched for him.
i rang back last night, i spoke to him, didn't go too well, he was very polite but was a very short conversation. maybe i am in his head now, i dunno
 

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