Over protective boyfriend ?

[Rabiel]

i dont know if any of you girls have boyfriends that are over protective or jelouse but i do and i dont understand why ?

When we first started dating man he was the most perfect guy ever but then he just started ruleling my life ? i was like wtf? seriously the more i give him the more he wants i dont understand why it is like that ? i have to call him from my house before i leave somewhere and when i get back into my house ? always gotta check up with him ! cant wear my nose ring, he dont want me hangin out with my friends , and so on ? why i never done anything to lose his trust. He is a very goo dlooking guy its not like he is insecure ?? when he goes to bars alot of girls just stare at him and smile ! i dont know what do ya'll think ?
why are some guys like that ?

 

[Amara]

Without sounding like some feminist lunatic, maybe because girls let them be like that. Seriously though, you probably know you dont need to be held on a tight leash, so why submit to his behaviour, encouraging it by doing what he says? Whats really worse - the fact that he makes unreasonable demands of you, or that you actually do it? You probably know your worth better than that and if he cant relax and trust you, good looking or not, he doesnt seem worth your time. As much as I like a guy, I wouldnt ever let him stamp all over me. There's got to be some measure of freedom and independence in a relationship - it doesnt have to come at the expense of trust, but you have a right to leave the house and visit your friends without him knowing your every move.

 

[Rabiel]

i know that your right 100 % but its easier said then done, seriously before this guy i said aint nobody going to tell me what do to etc. but then here he comes along and tries doing it i mean i dont do everything he says but he says its respect that he needs to know every move i make ? i dont know its very dumb i want to be with him but i hate the fact that i have to call him all the time....he gets mad if i dont call him..

 

[_carmi]

so what if he gets mad? ur not is dog, ur an human being. nobody should ever tell u what to do. i know its hard, ur afraid to lose him, but after this whats gonna happen? ur not gonna be allowed to go out anymore? u have to stop this before it gets uncontrollable. and it almost seems uncontrollabe the control he has on u. i know ur scared of losing him, but please have a lil bit of self respect

 

[k69atie]

^^^^ :thumb: :thumb:


my boyfriend got like that after about 4 months into the realtionship he also became very controllong, he was cheating on me.

 

[keco52]

I agree with amara...Ppl treat you the way you let them treat you. My b.f. knows I'm a very independant person. I hate to sound like a b!tch but if he tried to tell me what to do he knows I'd tell him "I have a daddy, tyvm"

 

[_carmi]

my bf will never tell me what to do. he'll tell me if theres something i do he does like and tell me what he'd like me to not to (like take drugs when he's not there and things like that) and i dont feel controlled or anything because at some point i think the same about it. i dont want him under drug influence and cheat on me cuz of the drugs so. what goes for me goes for him too.

 

[Rabiel]

yeah you guys are right, he doesnt treat me bad or anything he just doesnt like my friends ( cuz he slept with half of them and he knows how much they like to party and shit, but i aint lke that ) ijust cant figure out why he has to act like that,i talked to him about this soo many times and then he changed and the next thing i know we are back to checking up again and shit.. id ont know he wants me to let him know every move i make ?

 

[_carmi]

i guess at some point, dont call him when ur going out and when u come back. but call him like once a day tellin him ur plans, making him feel comfortable with the fact ur going oput with ur friends that he doesnt trust. tell him ur life before he asks u too, making him more part of ur life and making trust be stronger.

because a relationship with no trust is not a relationship at all.

 

[Rabiel]

i did, things are going a lot better now, we talked last night and today was petty good.
thanks all ya'll

 

[_carmi]

good news girl, i'm proud of you

 

[Beautiful Angel]

Girl be careful, sounds alot like my ex....he was very controlling, didn't like any of my friends, always wanted to know where i was but never tell me where he was and then we'd talk and he'd say he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again, and things were good for a few months then it went right back to the same old shit....i put up with that shit for 3.5 years. Don't let him do that to you, i know it's hard to leave bc it took me forever to do it but it was the best thing for me and i've never been more happy.

Good Luck
Kel