Meeting the ex

[k69atie]

This is gonna be long so bear with me!!!

Ok on Sunday i met daves ex. Anyway dave and i went to the pub to watch the football, and when we got there he told me her car was in the car park, so anyway we went in and she was stood at the bar with a girl called sarah who helped to set me and dave up, and is always really nice to me, and dead friendly.

anyway i said hiya to sarah and she ignored me, and i thought fair enough it is awakrd for her as she must be friends with helen (daves ex).

so dave and i went to sit in the pool room to watch the football and about 10mins later helen, sarah and another girl came in to play on the quiz machine which was about 2ft away from where i was stood so she was stood right next to me, anyway for the next 2 hours i had to listen to them slagging me off, they said i looked about 12, i had no tits, i was nothing special, i didn't eat. helen kept saying dave prefered his women with tits and a bit of meat on them , various other insults about me etc.

i can understand why his ex slagged me off, but sarah was joining in. dave didn't hear it but when they went i told him and he wanted to have a word with his best mate who is sarah's husband, but i told him to leave it as i didn't wanna cause any trouble.

so now i am feeling really shit, i feel really insecure and can't stop thinking about what they said.

and then today it turns out daves mate (also dave) wants a word with him cos he has been shagging helen and wants to see her, but wants to talk to dave about it first. dave said he isn't bothered about it but i can't help feeling paranoid cos he said he didn't wanna go in the pub wednesday as he knew his mate wanted to talk to him. now if he didn't care why would he avoid it?

is it just me being stupid cos i feel so shit after sunday?


sorry to go on i just needed to let it all out

 

[Amara]

Fuck those bitches katie. Stupid trolls. So obviously envious of your relationship and like they say 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' - if I were you I would not let it drive your insecurities but reaffirm that what people see outwardly is that you and dave are together, happily. That's the truth of situation. Unfortunately that means they gotta try and bring you down, but geez that deserves pity. Like I said, stupid trolls. You're better than that and a better person than them, so rise above it and dont let it get you down. Things are good for you and him - no-one can spoil that if you dont let them.

 

[k69atie]

yeah i know you are right amara (you always are!!! lol)

i just can't help feeling like shit, i have never had to deal with a scorned ex before i to be honest i don't know how to cope with it. I know dave tells me it doesn't bother him, but it just worried me that he was avoiding his mate so he couldn't tell him. but then it would be wednesday and i would be with him then so maybe he doesn't want it to be akward for me? who knows.

now i have to think will his ex be coming in all the time now with his mate and will sarah keep being a bitch about me?

i don't know how to cope with this sort of shit! Lol

 

[_carmi]

if you're really insecure about that, the only one who can really help you to cope with this is dave. if you wonder things about him, ask him. a relationship is all about trust.

and ignore them bitches. they are really pathetic for trying to bring you down. they are just so jealous that you got dave and that helen girl doesnt.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

I've never been in that situation, but if you are again go up to where they are look them dead in the eye and see if they got the courage to say it to your FACE. If they do just talk shit lol I would, but maybe that isnt such good advice either Anyway as carmi said talk to your boyfriend about it, if he's a good BF he'll make you feel better
As for the Sarah girl if she ignores you and turns her back so easily dont give her the time of day. I suspect she acted that way because she didnt want to loose Helen or she was being fake the whole time.

Dont let it get you down though, she only acted that way because she knew she let the best thing in her life slip away and into your arms, and your not gonna let him go so easily are you?

 

[k69atie]

thanks girls,

i know you are right and me and dave had a good talk last night, he said he could understand how i was feeling cos if it was the other way round he would feel shit.

anyway he phoned helen yesterday and had a word with her, saying that she made me feel like shit on sunday and it made it really akward for me, he told her he doesn't give a shit what she says about him, but when she starts on me its different.

anyway i think i will see her in the pub tonight cos she is seeing daves mate now. so who knows how it will go, and if sarah is in there, then i will talk to her politely. maybe she will apologise to me who knows.

i just hope she isn't in with helen otherwise it may get akward again.

anyway dave knows how i feel and he has been really good about it all.

will keep you updated how it goes tonight!

 

[k69atie]

oh yeah one more thing!

how do i deal with sarah? cos she is daves best mates wife, i can't have a major go at her. so what do i say to her about sunday? do i leave it and hope she apologies to me, or do i just have a quiet word with her, and tell her i am a bit upset with her?

 

[ArtsyGirl]

I would say I cant respect her, I'd be civil since you'll have to be around her alot but theres no respect. I'd feel that way until she shows me she's not like that anymore.
Just say how you feel in a cool calm way, if she reacts badly just leave it at that and get some distance or something. Good luck, hope theres no drama.

 

[k69atie]

so do i approach her 1st? or do i wait for her to say something?

thanks girl all this sucks, i just wanna be with dave without all this bull shit!

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Just do it when it feels right, dont force it. I dont know bout you but if someones tryin to get to me (like she did) I dont really want them to think its really upset me. So if she trys some chit chat say it then, but really if you feel like bringin it up just say it straight out get it out the way. Otherwise just be with Dave and forget them.

 

[k69atie]

good idea! thanks girl i am so shit with all this sort of stuff i bet i sound about 12!! lol


thanks again

i am not sure if she will be in tonight but her husband def will be, he may apologise? mmm who knows, will update you tomorrow!

 

[_carmi]

well its sarah who should apologize and not her hubby.

 

[Helena]

Hey babe, u know what, them two bitches Sarah and Helen, they remind me of so many girls i know. The ONLY reason they did that was cuz they were jealous. If they thought u was ugly they wouldn't have even bothered with the abuse.

If that had been me i would've turned around and said sumthin like:
My man's ex: Marcus prefers his women with tits and a bit of meat on them
Me: That's not what he was telling me last night. Marcus tells me all his ex's were dogs compared to me...and looking at you i can see were he was coming from.

Seriously though babe, when they was sayin all that shit, WHY oh WHY didn't u turn around and slap the cows?? LOL

Oh and that Sarah...she was obviously ass-lickin Helen, one of them 'follow the leader types' it seems like.
you know the class bully, and then the eager to please side kick act?
Well, Helen = bully,Sarah = sidekick.

now seeing as she's Dave's mates' wife...you have to be civil to her only talk to her when you have to.


Oh and Good Luck babe!

 

[k69atie]

thanks everyone!!!

luckily she wasn't in last night so it was ok, and me and dave had a great heart to heart last night, so when she comes in and i will just be civil to her and just talk when i have to.

and lol helena i had to sit on my hands so i didn't!! it is a good job i don't ddrink cos if i did dave would have had to pull me off them!!! :laugh:

 

[_carmi]

^lollll

oh well you're stuck being civil to sarah that sucks. but wtv.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Atleast it didnt get between you and Dave, thats the main thing

 

[k69atie]

yeah thats true.

things are better now, i have been with him for most of the weekend and we have talked a lot!