Since I read that entire thread on homophobia, I decided it would be a perfect opportunity to speak my mind on that matter being as it is one of the reasons I've been depressed the past 2 months. And no I'm not gay so don't even start thinking that.
I work with 3 gay men. I have no problem with them. I talk to them all the time, we joke around, and sometimes they give great advice on women (strange, but true). Over the past 6 months, we've known each other long enough to say things you normally wouldn't say to a stranger. For example, mainly, I crack jokes about things they do are because of their homoness. And I'm not degrading them, it's just funny. Like with one of the guys, he was telling me he doesn't think it's obvious that he's gay. He really isn't flamboyantly gay, nor does he look it. But I cracked this joke: "Oh I knew because you have a small dog that you talk about all the time". It's just random comments like that. Of course they laugh and stuff and they crack on me too about certain things. Well there is one thing you have to understand about me. I take everything serious to the fullest extent even with little things. Well on occasion (which is why I got depressed) they started cracking jokes about how I do certain things bc I'm "gay and don't know yet." Well I know I'm not fuckin' gay. They get on me because I like to shop. Well, I like to shop because I want to impress the women with what I wear. They get on me because I like cleanliness in the home. Well, I like women to think I am neat and not a slob when they come to my place. They get on me because I have more female friends than male (wtf is that even legitimate?). Well, every female friend I have, I intend to have something more than a relationship with almost everyone of them. I have never in my life been close to a guy. Like, I have my closest homies, but I would never call a close guy friend my best friend. I don't even talk about deep things with guys like I do with girls because it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't like being close with guys. I just watch/play sports, drink beer, chill out with em and do nothing. They get on me for tons of other things. Well because I am a person with a low self-esteem, all of these things kept getting to me and the fact that they always would say that "half the people don't know it yet" ultimately scared me into depression. That's sad I know and you don't need to tell me. I started to question myself if I was gay or not. I had nothing that pointed to homosexuality. All of my I chased girls. No matter what I did, it was ultimately to get a girl. I'm serious, too! I play basketball because I really enjoy it, but I get more excited and play harder when girls are around because I want to show off. I was always that dude that would get distracted and stop what I'm doing to flirt with a hot girl. Every guy hated me for it because that's all I would do even if there was something important going on. Plus I like to think I'm the ultimate lover. I would do anything for a woman to have a woman to make her happy no matter what. Anyway, so many things went through my head, mainly because of the "half the people dont even know it yet" thing. I was so worried. I think I let it bother me so much because I felt that I am the ultimate woman lover that is was such disrespect to who I am as a man and I couldnt possibly imagine going without women. Then someone brought it to my attention that maybe I was bi. I thought about it for a bit and I realized hell no. Hell fucking no. There is no way I could mess with a man. I couldnt even like touch a guy in that way. That just disgusts me so much. But yet still I was bothered by the fact that I might be gay. I can't even explain why. But I apparently have a disorder dealing with overanalyzing things. I can't remember the exact term and I havent been formally diagnosed, but a very intelligent girl I know (who I infact have a crush on) is majoring in physcology told me of this and I have many of the symptoms. I did a lot of research and talked to Gay Institutes about this to figure out who I am. I'm not gay (I still cant believe I needed to research and have people to tell me it, fucking stupid). But why I'm depressed now is because it ruined my heart. I question everything about relationships. I see a hot girl and I think to myself "Is she truly hot or is my mind telling me to think that?". "Do I infact like this girl or am I just trying to be friends with her because there is a possibility that I'm gay?". It's almost like I feel like I'm quizzing myself to see if I really like women when I know damn well in fact that all my life I have loved women with a passion and it's not even a thing I think about. I just..like them. It's just natural. I don't quiz myself anymore, but it's just mentally drained me. I know for a fact that I'm not gay. It was a little phase I went through where I was trying to find myself for like a month. But I'm so mentally drained that I don't even want a relationship right now or feel that I'll ever be looking for that again anytime soon. I don't want to recieve love or even give it. I hope that makes sense because maybe someone can help me figure out why I don't want love when that's been my priority my entire life. It's like I lost my mojo. I don't care about sex, love, flirting...anything. Although there is this one girl who I am falling in love with so much and I cant be with her at the moment which may explain why I dont want these things from anyone else. But whatever.
So now onto speaking about the other thread. A lot of people were putting out so-called "facts". Some were false, and some were true...10 years ago. I did intense research for along time online, in books, and the 3 gay men I work with. More than anything this will be my opinion on the research that I've done.
Being gay is not a gene, nor is it a choice. Of course there is no proof that there is no gene, but as of now, we don't know. Personally I feel that some people just feel that way from the beginning. All 3 gay men I work with knew they were gay as early as kindergarden. They were friends with the girls because they liked doing the girl things, and thought the guys were cute. Though at that time they didn't know they were gay, they in later years realized it. With other people, it's an enviromental factor. Their surroundings will determine who they are. This is determined at a young age. Most people (straight and gay) figure out their sexuality between the ages of 12-17. Did you ever once have a sexual thought of a person in the opposite sex when you were around that age? It's perfectly normal, it's the process of finding out who you are. If you didn't, there is something wrong with you. There is a chance that you don't even remember it though because it is natural and often very brief.
Bottom line: You might not be born gay, but it's definitely not a choice.
But I'm damn sure glad I'm not :thumb:
I work with 3 gay men. I have no problem with them. I talk to them all the time, we joke around, and sometimes they give great advice on women (strange, but true). Over the past 6 months, we've known each other long enough to say things you normally wouldn't say to a stranger. For example, mainly, I crack jokes about things they do are because of their homoness. And I'm not degrading them, it's just funny. Like with one of the guys, he was telling me he doesn't think it's obvious that he's gay. He really isn't flamboyantly gay, nor does he look it. But I cracked this joke: "Oh I knew because you have a small dog that you talk about all the time". It's just random comments like that. Of course they laugh and stuff and they crack on me too about certain things. Well there is one thing you have to understand about me. I take everything serious to the fullest extent even with little things. Well on occasion (which is why I got depressed) they started cracking jokes about how I do certain things bc I'm "gay and don't know yet." Well I know I'm not fuckin' gay. They get on me because I like to shop. Well, I like to shop because I want to impress the women with what I wear. They get on me because I like cleanliness in the home. Well, I like women to think I am neat and not a slob when they come to my place. They get on me because I have more female friends than male (wtf is that even legitimate?). Well, every female friend I have, I intend to have something more than a relationship with almost everyone of them. I have never in my life been close to a guy. Like, I have my closest homies, but I would never call a close guy friend my best friend. I don't even talk about deep things with guys like I do with girls because it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't like being close with guys. I just watch/play sports, drink beer, chill out with em and do nothing. They get on me for tons of other things. Well because I am a person with a low self-esteem, all of these things kept getting to me and the fact that they always would say that "half the people don't know it yet" ultimately scared me into depression. That's sad I know and you don't need to tell me. I started to question myself if I was gay or not. I had nothing that pointed to homosexuality. All of my I chased girls. No matter what I did, it was ultimately to get a girl. I'm serious, too! I play basketball because I really enjoy it, but I get more excited and play harder when girls are around because I want to show off. I was always that dude that would get distracted and stop what I'm doing to flirt with a hot girl. Every guy hated me for it because that's all I would do even if there was something important going on. Plus I like to think I'm the ultimate lover. I would do anything for a woman to have a woman to make her happy no matter what. Anyway, so many things went through my head, mainly because of the "half the people dont even know it yet" thing. I was so worried. I think I let it bother me so much because I felt that I am the ultimate woman lover that is was such disrespect to who I am as a man and I couldnt possibly imagine going without women. Then someone brought it to my attention that maybe I was bi. I thought about it for a bit and I realized hell no. Hell fucking no. There is no way I could mess with a man. I couldnt even like touch a guy in that way. That just disgusts me so much. But yet still I was bothered by the fact that I might be gay. I can't even explain why. But I apparently have a disorder dealing with overanalyzing things. I can't remember the exact term and I havent been formally diagnosed, but a very intelligent girl I know (who I infact have a crush on) is majoring in physcology told me of this and I have many of the symptoms. I did a lot of research and talked to Gay Institutes about this to figure out who I am. I'm not gay (I still cant believe I needed to research and have people to tell me it, fucking stupid). But why I'm depressed now is because it ruined my heart. I question everything about relationships. I see a hot girl and I think to myself "Is she truly hot or is my mind telling me to think that?". "Do I infact like this girl or am I just trying to be friends with her because there is a possibility that I'm gay?". It's almost like I feel like I'm quizzing myself to see if I really like women when I know damn well in fact that all my life I have loved women with a passion and it's not even a thing I think about. I just..like them. It's just natural. I don't quiz myself anymore, but it's just mentally drained me. I know for a fact that I'm not gay. It was a little phase I went through where I was trying to find myself for like a month. But I'm so mentally drained that I don't even want a relationship right now or feel that I'll ever be looking for that again anytime soon. I don't want to recieve love or even give it. I hope that makes sense because maybe someone can help me figure out why I don't want love when that's been my priority my entire life. It's like I lost my mojo. I don't care about sex, love, flirting...anything. Although there is this one girl who I am falling in love with so much and I cant be with her at the moment which may explain why I dont want these things from anyone else. But whatever.
So now onto speaking about the other thread. A lot of people were putting out so-called "facts". Some were false, and some were true...10 years ago. I did intense research for along time online, in books, and the 3 gay men I work with. More than anything this will be my opinion on the research that I've done.
Being gay is not a gene, nor is it a choice. Of course there is no proof that there is no gene, but as of now, we don't know. Personally I feel that some people just feel that way from the beginning. All 3 gay men I work with knew they were gay as early as kindergarden. They were friends with the girls because they liked doing the girl things, and thought the guys were cute. Though at that time they didn't know they were gay, they in later years realized it. With other people, it's an enviromental factor. Their surroundings will determine who they are. This is determined at a young age. Most people (straight and gay) figure out their sexuality between the ages of 12-17. Did you ever once have a sexual thought of a person in the opposite sex when you were around that age? It's perfectly normal, it's the process of finding out who you are. If you didn't, there is something wrong with you. There is a chance that you don't even remember it though because it is natural and often very brief.
Bottom line: You might not be born gay, but it's definitely not a choice.
But I'm damn sure glad I'm not :thumb:
