i am annoyed for some strange reason. there's a strange smell lingering around me, and it's bothering me a little bit. peices of dead grass are clinging to my socks, and are strewn along the floor because i walked everywhere with them. these are just minor things, and have nothing to do with this thread, but as i clicked "new thread" i observed my foot resting on the table, and caught a whiff of this pungent smell around me. it was a life changing moment, and i felt compelled to write about it on streethop as soon as i could. sorry for wasting 15 seconds.
anywayyyyyyyyyyy. to the point of this thread. the title is misleading - this isn't going to be on some "cheer up, emo kid" kind of shit, because i refuse to partake in the growing trend of SH self analysis... the whole chest hair fiasco was enough. but at the moment i feel that my life is in disequilibirum. i call it disequilibrium because your "equilibrium" might not be your best position so to speak, but is still balanced. meaning that things are pretty cruisy - you have your job, your study (or whatever the fuck you do) , your friends...and things are just, well, balanced.
right now this balance does not exist. the last few weeks have been pretty tumultuous. those reading probably dont give a fuck, and i cant think of one reason why you would read this and be like "damn, this guy on some stephen hawking type of shit", but given that, i still want to write here because it's an escape from this unbalanced reality of mine.
im not going to bore anybody with details of how this has all come about, because it's not your business so fuck you, and your muma. but the basis of this discussion is how much of a HEAD FUCK it is to have everything thrown up into the air, with you left to pick up the peices when everything falls. how the fuck do you adjust? it's difficult, because you keep remembering about how "things used to be". the nostalgia kills you because you kind of romanticise the past, hence the whole "good old years" terminology. it's really hard to embrace the PRESENT of reality whilst trying to letting go of the past. it's hard to get used to the new.
and you know what? it's a head fuck. im even finding it difficult to put it into words. one thing i can note is that i feel as if im lacking in something (i can imagine some freaks here giggling because they think "penis" straight away..stupid fucks.)...like a part of me is missing. a peice of the cake is gone, and it fucks up the picture, right? bad analogy, but i dont give a fuck, it's late.
anyway, if there were SH blogs, this would have gone straight to it. but, Our Block will have to do. I'm not really sure how anyone can respond to this thread, so i will finish off by saying that im going to take off my socks and have a shower.
adios.
anywayyyyyyyyyyy. to the point of this thread. the title is misleading - this isn't going to be on some "cheer up, emo kid" kind of shit, because i refuse to partake in the growing trend of SH self analysis... the whole chest hair fiasco was enough. but at the moment i feel that my life is in disequilibirum. i call it disequilibrium because your "equilibrium" might not be your best position so to speak, but is still balanced. meaning that things are pretty cruisy - you have your job, your study (or whatever the fuck you do) , your friends...and things are just, well, balanced.
right now this balance does not exist. the last few weeks have been pretty tumultuous. those reading probably dont give a fuck, and i cant think of one reason why you would read this and be like "damn, this guy on some stephen hawking type of shit", but given that, i still want to write here because it's an escape from this unbalanced reality of mine.
im not going to bore anybody with details of how this has all come about, because it's not your business so fuck you, and your muma. but the basis of this discussion is how much of a HEAD FUCK it is to have everything thrown up into the air, with you left to pick up the peices when everything falls. how the fuck do you adjust? it's difficult, because you keep remembering about how "things used to be". the nostalgia kills you because you kind of romanticise the past, hence the whole "good old years" terminology. it's really hard to embrace the PRESENT of reality whilst trying to letting go of the past. it's hard to get used to the new.
and you know what? it's a head fuck. im even finding it difficult to put it into words. one thing i can note is that i feel as if im lacking in something (i can imagine some freaks here giggling because they think "penis" straight away..stupid fucks.)...like a part of me is missing. a peice of the cake is gone, and it fucks up the picture, right? bad analogy, but i dont give a fuck, it's late.
anyway, if there were SH blogs, this would have gone straight to it. but, Our Block will have to do. I'm not really sure how anyone can respond to this thread, so i will finish off by saying that im going to take off my socks and have a shower.
adios.
