lmfwao = laugh my freshly wiped ass off!
I once visited a friend of a friends house, and during my visit I asked politely to use the lavatory. After placing my deposit, I wiped my ass and washed my hands, and was left with one question for my new host ... why was there two toilets in there? I asked and got a laughing response. Apparently one was a toilet, and the other was a b-day. A B-day is an ass wash sink that looks like a horizontal urinal. That was the first time I seen one, and I have seen them in hotel rooms across europe since. I don't see them often though, never on one of my birthdays. It brings a whole new meaning to happy bday, like I hope you wash your ass properly.
The question here should be not if you wipe your ass but if you wash your hands afterwards.