Bow down to Vin Diesel.
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Vin Diesel is a part of a complete breakfast.
Have you ever danced with Vin Diesel in the pale moonlight? Vin Diesel has.
The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought the dinosaurs were "a motherfucking stupid idea...dumbass." God was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs. Then, Vin Diesel gave back God's bong.
LMAO :thumb:
Have you ever danced with Vin Diesel in the pale moonlight? Vin Diesel has.
The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought the dinosaurs were "a motherfucking stupid idea...dumbass." God was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs. Then, Vin Diesel gave back God's bong.
LMAO :thumb:
Vin Diesel once had the choice to save a baby or the baby's mother from a burning house. Since it wouldn't have been fair to choose, he instead cooked a BLT and peppered the sandwich with both their ashes.
so wrong, yet so funny
or this one
Vin Diesel is better known throughout the universe as the Silver Surfer. Galactus is better known on Earth as Bill Gates.
so wrong, yet so funny
or this one
Vin Diesel is better known throughout the universe as the Silver Surfer. Galactus is better known on Earth as Bill Gates.
"Vin Diesel's skin is two hundred million times more heat resistant than a space shuttle's heat plates. He demonstrated this by jumping into a volcano. He emerged through an eruption six months later with the corpse of six dead Balrogs slain by hand."
Schwarzenegger? Willis? Stallone? Get the fuck outta here.....
Schwarzenegger? Willis? Stallone? Get the fuck outta here.....
"Vin Diesel once performed an emergency appendectomy on Josef Stalin, and as a token of his gratitude, Stalin gave Vin a +30% resistance to cold so they could meet at his Russian beachhouse safely."
" "Tom" on MySpace is actually Vin Diesel's fake account. MySpace.com was created by Vin Diesel as a science experiment."
" Whenever there's "that guy" in a movie who you can't remember his name, it's Vin Diesel."
"Vin Diesel assisted his good friends Jay & Silent Bob by flying to the house of, and giving a right beating to, all those who had dissed the Jay & Silent Bob movie outside of the continental U.S." Hahah
" He once challenged the bones of Bruce Lee to a fistfight, and lost."
" Vin Diesel is such a badass that he thinks Mountain Dew is for little girly men, like Arnold Schwarzenegger."
"Vin Diesel watched his parents murdered before his eyes in a back alley in Gotham City. The event stole his childhood and he chose to fight back against those who bring harm to others. Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot, so Vin Diesel chose to look like a bat."
"Long ago, Vin Diesel and King Tut made a bet to see who could build the greatest monument in all of Egypt. Later that day, Vin had successfully constructed all of the great pyramids while wearing a blindfold. Pleased with his accomplishments, Vin returned only to find King Tut standing next to the Sphinx. Furious, he scaled the beast and ripped off the nose using only his teeth. He then proceeded to kill and bury everyone in Egypt with a passion that hasn’t been rivaled since. He still visits to this day."
"Vin Diesel once stole an X-Wing fighter jet from Luke Skywalker, flew to Earth, and said to Ashlee Simpson, quote: "STFU, before you make a total ass of yourself and your career is over!" Ashlee ignored Vin and three weeks later was caught lip synching on SNL."
" Vin Diesel killed Optimus Prime because he wanted to wear the Matrix 'round his neck, similar to Flavor Flav's clock."
" Vin Diesel has the power to turn himself invisible, but only when no one else is watching." I have that same power :thumb:
"He once extracted a 100 watt light bulb from a woman's vagina by inserting an Ikea floor lamp and screwing it onto the bulb's threads."
' Vin Diesel farts designer cologne."
" All of the characters in the movie "Big Trouble In Little China" were loosely based upon Vin Diesel." << Hhehe I love that movie, Old school.
"Star Wars was based on Vin's real life experience in another galaxy. Interestingly there were no Ewoks, droids, starships, jedi, or aliens, but there were lightsabers. Good god were there lightsabers..."
"Vin Diesel once thought he was a Highlander, but gave up the theory after numerous beheadings didn't lead to any lightning. He is, however, immortal."
Who the fuck writes this shit?
" "Tom" on MySpace is actually Vin Diesel's fake account. MySpace.com was created by Vin Diesel as a science experiment."
" Whenever there's "that guy" in a movie who you can't remember his name, it's Vin Diesel."
"Vin Diesel assisted his good friends Jay & Silent Bob by flying to the house of, and giving a right beating to, all those who had dissed the Jay & Silent Bob movie outside of the continental U.S." Hahah
" He once challenged the bones of Bruce Lee to a fistfight, and lost."
" Vin Diesel is such a badass that he thinks Mountain Dew is for little girly men, like Arnold Schwarzenegger."
"Vin Diesel watched his parents murdered before his eyes in a back alley in Gotham City. The event stole his childhood and he chose to fight back against those who bring harm to others. Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot, so Vin Diesel chose to look like a bat."
"Long ago, Vin Diesel and King Tut made a bet to see who could build the greatest monument in all of Egypt. Later that day, Vin had successfully constructed all of the great pyramids while wearing a blindfold. Pleased with his accomplishments, Vin returned only to find King Tut standing next to the Sphinx. Furious, he scaled the beast and ripped off the nose using only his teeth. He then proceeded to kill and bury everyone in Egypt with a passion that hasn’t been rivaled since. He still visits to this day."
"Vin Diesel once stole an X-Wing fighter jet from Luke Skywalker, flew to Earth, and said to Ashlee Simpson, quote: "STFU, before you make a total ass of yourself and your career is over!" Ashlee ignored Vin and three weeks later was caught lip synching on SNL."
" Vin Diesel killed Optimus Prime because he wanted to wear the Matrix 'round his neck, similar to Flavor Flav's clock."
" Vin Diesel has the power to turn himself invisible, but only when no one else is watching." I have that same power :thumb:
"He once extracted a 100 watt light bulb from a woman's vagina by inserting an Ikea floor lamp and screwing it onto the bulb's threads."
' Vin Diesel farts designer cologne."
" All of the characters in the movie "Big Trouble In Little China" were loosely based upon Vin Diesel." << Hhehe I love that movie, Old school.
"Star Wars was based on Vin's real life experience in another galaxy. Interestingly there were no Ewoks, droids, starships, jedi, or aliens, but there were lightsabers. Good god were there lightsabers..."
"Vin Diesel once thought he was a Highlander, but gave up the theory after numerous beheadings didn't lead to any lightning. He is, however, immortal."
Who the fuck writes this shit?
Vin Diesel signed the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 as a joke to punish the Germans because during the mid-1800's Otto von Bismarck told him he was out of shape. Hitler later called him a giant douche, so he shot him in the face.
During a freak electric storm, lightning hit a tree near Vin Diesel's house knocking a branch off. He whittled the branch into a canoe and named it 'Wonderboy'.This would later fuel his love for competitive canoe racing and his being cast in 'The Fast and the Furious'.
Vin Diesel is reloading this site as you read this.
My favorites
During a freak electric storm, lightning hit a tree near Vin Diesel's house knocking a branch off. He whittled the branch into a canoe and named it 'Wonderboy'.This would later fuel his love for competitive canoe racing and his being cast in 'The Fast and the Furious'.
Vin Diesel is reloading this site as you read this.
My favorites
Vin Diesel invented the dirty sanchez one dark night in Tangier, but only after several hundred failed attempts that have left a hundreds of Mexican women "mutilated, but comedically so."
omfg, lmao rofl
Vin Diesel wrote the song 'I got you babe', but sold it to Sonny and Cher for 500 gold doubloons and the rights to Cher's face. This is Vin's most prized possession, and after much reconstructive surgery, the end result is an exact replica of a self portrait Vin made, aged 8.
AHAHAHHAHA, thats some cold shit
omfg, lmao rofl
Vin Diesel wrote the song 'I got you babe', but sold it to Sonny and Cher for 500 gold doubloons and the rights to Cher's face. This is Vin's most prized possession, and after much reconstructive surgery, the end result is an exact replica of a self portrait Vin made, aged 8.
AHAHAHHAHA, thats some cold shit
most of these were pretty immature and not funny....but this one was funny....
Vin Diesel tried out to be a member of the Backstreet Boys. When it was discovered that his voice was tantamount to that of Lucifer Morningstar, God's chosen musician, Lucifer was banished to hell while Vin Diesel was given his next task: To star in The Pacifier
Vin Diesel tried out to be a member of the Backstreet Boys. When it was discovered that his voice was tantamount to that of Lucifer Morningstar, God's chosen musician, Lucifer was banished to hell while Vin Diesel was given his next task: To star in The Pacifier
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