Vin Diesel knows what it's like when doves cry.
Created the moon landing as an experiment to boost his ego
Vin Diesel Once ate seven orangutans after losing a game of Go Fish to Jesus.
If Vin Diesel falls down in the woods and no one is around to hear it, he will find the nearest person and accurately reconstruct the noise he made as he fell.
Vin Diesel is well versed in Sanskrit and can play the kazoo so well that any living thing within earshot of his symphonies automatically orgasms for 3 straight days.
As a small boy, Vin Diesel was abandoned by his parents and subsequently raised by a flock of Mallard ducks. He later killed the ducks and used their feathers to make a ceremonial headdress that allows the wearer to control the powers of ice.
Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.
If you whisper Vin Diesel's name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat.
Vin Diesel began as a prototype for the Stealth Bomber, but became self-aware and escaped government control.
Once, during an unfortunate fishing accident, Vin Diesel was covered in a living membrane called the "Rainbow Trout Skin". This membrane allows Vin Disesel to perform great feats of strength, agility, and awesomeness. Sadly, as the centuries pass, this causes Vin Diesel to slowly turn into Michael Bolton.
Vin Diesel is really the reincarnated King Nebuchadnezzar. He made the Hanging Gardens when he decided to use Rogaine on his genitals.
Vin Diesel was the original teacher of Socrates, who then taught Plato, who then taught Aristotle, who then taught Alexander the Great, who then penisslapped Colin Ferrel.
rofl what the fuck
