2008 vs 2009

_carmi

me, myself & us
#1
So far, how is 2009 compared to 2008 for you guys?

I'd say it's slightly better. Only had to attend 2 funerals so far, and my father just went to hospital tonight for the second time this year. Doesn't top three funerals in 2008 yet and my uncle diagnosed with lung cancer. But I'm thinking it's a matter of time before somebody else dies or something. It's my kind of luck for the past few years. Hospitals and funeral homes are my new hanging out spots.

And yes I'm saying this with a sarcastic tone although it is very true. lol

What about you guys?
 

SiGh

Who's there?
Staff member
#2
Last week after leaving work, I was driving to a store when I noticed a 3 people in a car, suspiciously looking at the bottom of the passenger side floor. Something told me to follow them, so I did. I followed them for about 3 miles when I noticed they made a illegal u-turn, so I turned my lights on and pulled them over.

There was a bag in the passenger side with someones cut up body.

Being a fa sucks sometimes. :(
 

ArtsyGirl

Well-Known Member
#3
Well 08 saw Europe, Chronic Fatigue, my Uncle diagnosed with 4 Cancers and my brothers girlfriend will be having a baby. 09 Has seen my uncle's funeral, started my BA in Visual Arts, and moving house. Gotta take the good with the bad. Sucks when the bad outweighs the good though..
 
#5
2008 ended well for me so 2009 started good, i took a few risks that paid off last year, might do the same thing this year, like living on the edge
 

keco52

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#6
I was in the ER two times last week. Other than that everything is great. I love my job. I just got a raise for no reason. I love my friends.

I started to develop anxiety a couple months ago. I'll just be walking through the mall and it comes on and I'm thinking "Are you serious" to myself.

^If anyone has any suggestions on how to fix that PM me...bc it sucks :(

So far 2009 is a lot better than 08.
 

ill-matic

Well-Known Member
#7
I started to develop anxiety a couple months ago. I'll just be walking through the mall and it comes on and I'm thinking "Are you serious" to myself.

^If anyone has any suggestions on how to fix that PM me...bc it sucks :(

So far 2009 is a lot better than 08.
Really? I'm the same... It's actually freaking me out a little bit because it's so foreign to me. It comes out of nowhere...and a lot of it when i'm in the mall.. Strange.
 

Flipmo

VIP Member
Staff member
#9
2008 was quite shitty, and 2009 has been starting off like crap... I'll let you know when in September. lol
 

keco52

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#10
Really? I'm the same... It's actually freaking me out a little bit because it's so foreign to me. It comes out of nowhere...and a lot of it when i'm in the mall.. Strange.
For true?

It happened once while I was giving a presentation at work. My mind went blank and I got really hot and walked out in front of 40 ppl...and then walked back in and had to finish.

If you want to have therapy in my inbox or if you figure it out that would be nice :)
 

S O F I

Administrator
Staff member
#11
I was in the ER two times last week. Other than that everything is great. I love my job. I just got a raise for no reason. I love my friends.

I started to develop anxiety a couple months ago. I'll just be walking through the mall and it comes on and I'm thinking "Are you serious" to myself.

^If anyone has any suggestions on how to fix that PM me...bc it sucks :(

So far 2009 is a lot better than 08.
Do you mean like, you're walking around the mall and think to yourself "holy shit, look at all these people, I see them looking at me, what are they thinking?"
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#14
Really? I'm the same... It's actually freaking me out a little bit because it's so foreign to me. It comes out of nowhere...and a lot of it when i'm in the mall.. Strange.
Lol, this takes me back to my first babysteps.

Just embrace it instead of denying it, is my best suggestion. Pretending it's not there or dismissing it with "Are you serious?", and demonizing it, is only gonna make it harder for you to deal with it later on. This I can say with the utmost confidence. You can suppress it, but we all know how bottling up feelings goes. Here's some questions you could ask yourself:

Why do you get anxious? Why does it matter to you what these people think? Do you judge others? The things you are afraid others think of you, are they things you often think of others? Why do you think these things of others? What part of yourself makes you feel better than them, so as to be able to judge them in the first place? Or, are the things that you are afraid people are thinking about you really things people have thought about you before? If people think these things about you, and they are true, why are you trying to be something you are not? If they aren't true, why do you let it get to you? Do you have any "stupid" naive dreams, like that people would be generally friendlier? Do you actually get bummed when you see shit like Paradise Hotel and just see a bunch of assholes whore themselves? Does it bother you that people will think about themselves before thinking about anyone else? Etc.

Maybe they won't apply to any of you guys, although they technically should.

Do you mean like, you're walking around the mall and think to yourself "holy shit, look at all these people, I see them looking at me, what are they thinking?"
I'm assuming you asked out of curiosity, so I'll add my two cents. It's not so much "oh everyone's looking at me" as when someone does look at you and you have eye contact. Do you look away? What do they think when you look away? Or do you stare? What do they think then? Staring is creepy, or challenging, and looking away is quirky. Either way, the person is gonna notice it and probably give it three seconds of thoughts before thinking about something else. However, in that moment, for those three seconds, his judgment of me feels very real. That's one person. If there's 1000 people there, you can imagine. Soon as I'm done worrying about what the one person would be thinking, I've had already made a jerky movement, made a bad step, almost tripped, sneezed, or something else that would make me self-aware.
 

S O F I

Administrator
Staff member
#15
Lol, this takes me back to my first babysteps.

Just embrace it instead of denying it, is my best suggestion. Pretending it's not there or dismissing it with "Are you serious?", and demonizing it, is only gonna make it harder for you to deal with it later on. This I can say with the utmost confidence. You can suppress it, but we all know how bottling up feelings goes.


I'm assuming you asked out of curiosity, so I'll add my two cents. It's not so much "oh everyone's looking at me" as when someone does look at you and you have eye contact. Do you look away? What do they think when you look away? Or do you stare? What do they think then? Staring is creepy, or challenging, and looking away is quirky. Either way, the person is gonna notice it and probably give it three seconds of thoughts before thinking about something else. However, in that moment, for those three seconds, his judgment of me feels very real. That's one person. If there's 1000 people there, you can imagine. Soon as I'm done worrying about what the one person would be thinking, I've had already made a jerky movement, made a bad step, almost tripped, sneezed, or something else that would make me self-aware.
So you're saying all of those thoughts are running through your head when pretty much every person looks at you?
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#16
So you're saying all of those thoughts are running through your head when pretty much every person looks at you?
Not really. I'm not affected by people around me when I don't know that they are there. To me, the problem is when I have someone's attention in one way or another, and become aware of it. Some times I'm totally zoned out and not even thinking about stuff around me. And to touch on what I added in my post above, I would look at people on the street and think a lot of shit. Not necessarily negative shit, some times it could just be stupid shit. Some times it could even be positive like "that's a cool jacket." He/she doesn't know what I'm thinking though, and the other way around. It's not the actual thought or the actual person, it's the fact that someone is looking at me and thinking something.

Also, you have to keep in mind, most people who have these issues speak about them in great detail, but right there in the heat of the moment it's like I see the person looking my way, the anxiety kicks in like an instinct, I think that I'm nervous or anxious but it's not a formulated thought like "Okay, he is looking at me, I am nervous now". It's just an uneasy feeling I get when I'm in someone's scope.

The idea here is that the anxiety is a repercussion of something else, a bigger problem. I used to be hella judgmental, so the consequence was that at some point I started wondering if not other people think the same things about me. Then I started evaluating my flaws, realized what they were, and somewhere along the way my whole belief system just collapsed on itself. After a lot of emotional confusion and finding myself, I came out a less judgmental person. Now, if someone wants to judge me, it won't affect me because I can normally respond and shut them up. This makes me feel confident about things. So the answer to my problem was to stop being an asshole to people, to try and understand those that are different to me, and to open my mind and accept more things. Now if someone thinks I'm a loser for playing Warcraft I can chalk them up to being assholes, and I fucking hate assholes! I could go on and on about this, but it was really just about balancing my own thoughts and then all the anxiety shit fell away by itself.

Edit: The last paragraph is more the philosophy I apply to my life these days. The process is incomplete. Also, even I will say something that's judgmental. Especially on the forums here. And if there's someone I don't like I'll take anything I can about them that can be twisted into being a bad thing, and use it. I didn't stop being judgmental, like I said, I just balanced things more. I'm still human though lol.
 

Shadows

Well-Known Member
#17
Both of those year were pretty fucked for me.


Ever since my best friend died in 06, it all went down hill.

07 was decent but it had its problems.

Everything else was total shit.
 

Flipmo

VIP Member
Staff member
#18
I have that problem in the mall.... actually, not the mall... Generally when I walk into a store it just hits me. Pisses me off at times. lol...

Edit: Preach, I totally understand where you are coming from...
 

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