Read dead online

Preach

Well-Known Member
#3
I'm completing Final Fantasy X Remastered to try and get back into gaming. Only thing driving me is a hint of good nostalgia.I think I've been depressed for a long while, I've been struggling to get excited about just about anything that used to arouse me. I used to love playing games. It used to genuinely excite me. Now I just get a kinda depressed feeling of inner darkness when I merely consider the idea of myself going to sit down at the PC to play a game. So instead, I sit in the living room looking at my potted plants and contemplate what I should do while refreshing the same websites over and over and dreaming about the stuff I was supposed to be doing and how one day... Kinda like we all probably used to do back in the Hitemup.com days. Did I tell you guys that I have about three years of full salary worth of credit loans that're almost choking me? The other day I matched with this RLY hot Canadian girl on Tinder. She was traveling over here and was looking for people to hook up with, lol. On her profile it said "Like to have some 420 fun". She was perfect! She hit me up like "what are you doing tonight?" So my ex gave me genital warts so I'm in my third year of involuntary celibacy. The treatment sucks, it's pricey, and I've started it like three times then kinda fucked up and had backlashes every time cause I got sick and tired of putting basically acid on my dick. So whenever I have a chance to connect with someone I get scared because if it goes all the way I'll have to be like "uh, so, there's something you should know..." Man, fuck that whole experience. So I had to make up an excuse and say I was working. She unmatched me right away. I felt like such a fucking loser. Fuck my ex. Fuck the banks. Fuck me and my dick (in the proverbial sense). Fuck the world.

Ronery, I am so ronery, i have nobody, foooor my oooown!
 
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dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
#5
Ah, that sucks man. Can't you just be honest with whoever you match with that you have herpes and you should take precautions, like using a condom? Some might run away but others might be more understanding especially if you're open about when you have an outbreak.

And FFX was an amazing game. I played it for PS2 and the ending made me tear up. It's one of few games I've actually finished from beginning to end. I remember I got stuck in the mountains before a Seymour fight. Mt Gagazet, I think it was called? It had nice, sorrowful music. I remember I just grinded for a month or two straight and built my aeons to retarded levels. Because of that grind, the rest of the game was a breeze. Bahamut and Yojimbo and Shiva fucking killed every boss battle after that. I'll have to pull out my PS2 and save file and just play the final boss again just to see how fucking awesome I made them.

Final Fantasy always had a unique battle system or leveling up system from 7-10. I haven't played beyond X-2 but 6-10 were a blast to play. I think I started playing in 2001 in 6th grade when my friend was the only one with a CD burner and software and burned me a disc of all these 16 bit emulators. I played FF4-6 on those and then he burned 7 and 8 for me. I bought 9 and 10 and 10-2 for my PS2.

I have a Mac now and Squaresoft/Enix doesn't seem to care about the Mac but I know they have 7-9 for Windows via Steam. I was going to Boot Camp Windows anyway but this might be just one more reason to get going on it and getting 7-9 on PC. I think they're on PC, right? 7 and 8 are but I also know the Switch is getting a remake of 7-9, maybe 10, but I don't have a Switch; my sister does but I'm not about to go play it on her system.

Man, I miss FF. After FF and Xenosaga (also made by Square) in 2006, 2007, I kind of quit gaming. Then Halo 3 and COD were simple, multiplayer games that I played a ton of in college with friends but I stopped gaming entirely in 2013 or so. I only recently picked it back up in 2017 when I played DOTA and got hooked on that. But there's no story to follow and that's what made RPGs so much for me. I sucked back in the day and would get stuck often but my friends were RPG geniuses and would make much more progress than I would in a night's session and would help me out.

Crazy how you mentioned you used to enjoy it but now you don't, or not as much. I feel the same way about gaming and a few other things.
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#6
^^
Entertainment is another thing. I've started a few shows, gotten excited, watched like five episodes in a row, and next time I try to find something to do and figure I'll just watch something, I'll consider whatever I started last for a minute and then just feel like "meh" and end up watching short Youtube videos based on whatever impulses hit me. Like I can't even motivate myself to get through a 45 minute episode of a TV show. The worst part is, if I actually push myself through it, I'll actually kinda enjoy it and keep watching, that day within that sitting. Then next time around when I try to pick it back up, it's that same "meh" feeling. So I'll watch a show, kinda enjoy it, and a few days later that excitement has vanished and I get a sensation of "it'll probably be boring" and "I don't wanna commit" when I consider it. It's kinda hard to explain but if you're having that you know exactly what I mean, it's like... I'm not sure what's wrong, it's not the movie or the act of watching a movie, and it's not really me either. I dunno. Maybe I actually no longer like to watch shows and movies? Maybe I've oversaturated myself? But why do I feel this need to state that that's a thing I enjoy? What does it even mean to enjoy something? It's an impulse, but unless you get manic about it and do everything you can to perpetuate that impulse, it'll be followed by another impulse. When I was a teenager I would put off other things SO THAT I could play. Now it feels like I'm putting off playing, SO THAT I can do something "more worthwhile" and then I just end up doing nothing instead. It's a emotional pattern that's hard to break out of and I've feel apathic about most of the things I used to enjoy for a long time. The guitar kinda excites me at times. That's the only thing, and it's something I never cared about before. I think I am forcing an idea of myself upon myself and it's holding me back, and also at the same time I've been sinking into depression slowly over time, and I'm pretty used to being depressed so it doesn't even feel like an acute problem at all and I just... don't do anything about it.

That's funny, that Mt Gagazet fight had me farm a little on this playthrough, too. I remember it also being a brickwall way back when. There's actually three Seymour fights, and the first and last both made me have to farm back then. This time around I only had to for the last one. I'm unsure how far into Sin I should go now because I am trying to finish up all the shit I never did back then. I am getting the celestial weapons, capturing 10 of every fiend in every zone, and I want to start rebuilding the sphere grid with max stat spheres. I won't do the whole, I'll do that as a side quest while I complete the other things and once I've done every scripted thing in game I'll just leave the sphere grid at wherever it's at and consider myself done with the game once and for all. Yeah I too cried over the ending lol. And I remember getting kinda horny at that one point in the story where depending on a couple of dialogue choices you make throughout the game, Lulu can kinda flirt with you in a cutscene. I always kinda liked Lulu. Yuna is cute, but Lulu is hot. Also, I've read a synopsis of FFX-2 and some kind of crossover with some other game where Tidus and Yuna suddenly appear, and it gets really weird. Like, she gets him back but then nothing happens and they don't stay together or something, it's just weird. So for me, the story ends with the ending of FFX and I choose to not think about the second game. Therefore I also won't play it, which I know some people say is a mistake as it's supposed to be decently alright if you can stomach the girlpower theme. Which I also can't, so yeah, lol.

I think a remaster for 7 has been in the works for a long time. That is, a remaster, not to be confused with the PC release from a few years ago. So if you were gonna round 7 I'd wait for that. Just a thought.
 

Tha_Wood

Underboss
Staff member
#8
So what's the go with genital warts? Are they always there or do they come and go? Anyway sorry to hear your not doing to well mental health wise bro. It's a bitch for sure and something that I've had my own struggles with so if you ever want to talk hit me up.
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#9
Well, to my best understanding, this is what doctors say:

If you get it, you have it but it can go away all by itself, or you may need treatment to help your immune system beat the virus. Even if successful, it "may" return later on. Generally, if you've been symptomless for 6 months, you can consider yourself rid of it.

Then my own experience suggests the reason why there doesn't seem to be any solid knowledge on why or hnow has to do with how people carry out their treatment. It took me a while to actually conceptually understand the treatment myself. So I was given two options. A really expensive cream you smear all over your penis three times a week. It's not painful or uncomfortable, but it's a slow treatment. It's something you would use in beginning stages of development. If you've gotten fully developed warts, it's really ineffective. The other option is something you brush onto the actual warts. It's like a cell toxin. If you get any on your healthy skin it'll itch and eventually get painful. You have to brush your dick twice a day for three consecutive days, then stay off for four days, rinse and repeat. During those four days, the warts kinda die off at the edges and that develops into a crust just like on a wound, so it's painful and uncomfortable all the time until new skin develops underneath it and lets go off the crust, usually on day four or five.

So initially I went for the ineffective, expensive cream for a while and it wasn't really denting the warts, so after two months I was like "fuck this, I need to go to the doctor again" and then it took me a couple of months to get around to booking an appointment, and he put me on the other treatment. By that time, they were back and I basically had to start treatment from scratch. The doctor didn't really offer any solid advice, other than general advice on how to apply it. He didn't really specify how I'll know when to stop. I started the brush treatment and almost got rid of the warts, but towards the end they were reduced to a size so small I couldn't really see or feel them. I figured I've gotten them down to a bare minimum, it's up to the universe now. If there's a single cell left somewhere on your dick that contains the virus t'll just come back again though, or that's what I've come to think. I haven't looked at cells in microscopes but it does seem to make sense.. So what I've come to understand and what I actually suggested to my doctor, was to go for the hard treatment first, then after I get the warts down to a size where you can no longer brush them without smearing the toxin onto healthy skin, switch to the cream and stay on it until symptomless and beyond. Then I ran out of money one month and had to just give it a rest, the warts started coming back really aggressively and I just put the treatment off again. I was basically sick of my dick hurting all the time and it felt like another start from scratch which just put me off.

So anyway, I'll stick to it this time around and if I do, I suspect I'll get rid of it. I'm pretty sure all the instances of people reporting it coming back are actually cases of people just following the doctors orders blindly and, and so they end the treatment prematurely or carry it out ineffectively, and/or/etc. Like I did for the longest time.
 
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dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
#10
Sorry, I'm messing up, it's a REMAKE, not to be confused with the REMASTER from a few years ago. It's being built from the ground up:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_VII_Remake

Yeah I was confused some time back when hearing about the different FF7s. I thought the current version was just a re-release of the original FF7 for PC. And then I was also aware of the FF7 remake where it would have updated graphics and such, but I last heard about it 2.5 years ago and then didn't keep up with it since.

Lulu was probably a lesbian but she was attractive back when I was 12 and this game came out. I don't remember the FFX-2 having any girl power themes but it was focused around the three female heroes from FFX. I think I got stuck on fighting the Magus Sisters in X-2 and just stopped.

As for the aeons in FFX, I think I got all of them, save for Anima. I remember getting fucked by Seymour's Anima early on in the game. I think I was stuck on the second Seymour fight while on the airship. I think the monster's name was Evrae, or something like that? It would swoop across the heroes and there was no way to avoid it. Seymour was a fucker.

Fighting Yu Yevon as the final battle, I think, was long but pretty easy. I think that's when you fight against your own aeons after he takes them. I think the fight before that is Seymour turning into some fucking hairy beast and the soundtrack for that battle is some hard metal that really felt out of place in relation to the rest of the game's soundtrack.

I'll have to look in to when this FF7 remake is coming out. I'm fine playing the old version for PC that had the 32 bit graphics and such but if they're re-doing it to modernize the graphics and add some more FMVs, I'm all for it. I have to look in to if FF8 and 9 are also making their way to PC because I don't want to buy a whole new console just to play those, like the Switch.
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#11
I don't remember the FFX-2 having any girl power themes but it was focused around the three female heroes from FFX.
You just described the girl power theme. Yeah I'm a bigot :D Also, the whole thing with those special dresses you could equip. Meh, it was too fruity for my liking. FFX is already pretty fruity for my taste but it somehow managed to capture me nonetheless.

Fighting Yu Yevon as the final battle, I think, was long but pretty easy. I think that's when you fight against your own aeons after he takes them. I think the fight before that is Seymour turning into some fucking hairy beast and the soundtrack for that battle is some hard metal that really felt out of place in relation to the rest of the game's soundtrack.
I know that they fight Jecht as the final aeon in there, but you made me uncertain so I had to google and you're right, there's also a last Seymour fight inside Sin. I forgot all about that. I know the final fight in there before Yu Yevon is the Jecht fight.
 

dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
#12
Now I absolutely have to play some FF 7 or 8. I looked up the info and it seems the remake for 7 has been pretty quiet in the news for the past two years. No info except they say it's going to happen and work is still being done on it. But it might get pushed from the PS4 to the PS5.

I was hoping there would be a PC version like before. I know it's all a lot of work but fuck them for being so dramatic and making it a five year-plus ordeal and then releasing it on one console.

I'm just going to pirate the old version for Windows. Kind of like how I did with it 15+ years ago lol
 

Preach

Well-Known Member
#13
Some guy that was really instrumental in making it had stated something like "once I'm done with Kingdom Hearts III, all my focus will be put on FFVII", so that suggests things might start happening as we proceed now.
 

dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
#14
Yeah, I read that too and while I owned KH, I didn't know they were on a third one already. That's been out for over a month, you'd think he'd say something now about when he'd get to work on this.

If it's going to be a console-exclusive, they've probably already lost me because I don't plan on buying a console. Last console was the 360 and that was almost 6 years ago since I last played it.
 

dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
#15
SH needs a game we can all play together, like those days of Yahoo Pool, or something.

Maybe it's a mobile game these days, instead of a desktop one.
 

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