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[_carmi]

Originally Posted by S O F I

The reason I made this thread is because my friend gave his girlfriend his facebook password. The complication in all of this is that he had cheated on her two times while they were together and he confessed to it and they went through a really rough patch but still managed to stay together. It's clear to say that there's some trust issues lingering. I think her reasoning behind demanding his password is that he cheated on her twice and if he wants to prove to her that he won't do it again, he should give her his password. In the end, all I know is that he gave her the password.

On the one hand, I feel the same way that most people in this thread feel (that it's the wrong way of maintaining trust and that it's childish).

On the other hand, most relationships (that manage to function) aren't in ideal scenarios and they manage to function in cases such as this. Basically, maintaining love isn't always about making reasonable and logical choices. One has to compromise and do shit that goes against what makes long-lasting relationships in an ideal world, just because of how emotions make people act.

having a facebook password doesn't prove anything. he can use other ways to contact girls he wanna fuck. but if it keeps her happy, why not. but this doesn't fix the issue.

at the end of the day trust has been broken and its hard to fix. i know that. i'm going through this. hasn't cheated but might as well have i was destroyed. it's hard to make those things work but sometimes it's worth it. it takes time, a lot of time, patience and effort on both parties.

[mastabator247]

Originally Posted by S O F I

See this is where generalization doesn't work. In his case, he HAS learned from his mistakes and wouldn't do it again. I know because he's my best friend and we hang out a lot and since I'm single we get into situations where he should be my wingman but he doesn't do it. Maybe it's too naive to say that he won't cheat but that is the feeling I'm getting.

So from what you say he has really changed.

OK, first off, you're not a social fail if you don't get messages from girls while in a relationship. It's perfectly common to not have any contact with other females if before the relationship you never had female friends just female partners. Make sense?

It's just hard for me to imagine that someone might not get ANY messages or not be in touch with any female except his own girlfriend.
However that might even frustrate his girlfriend more since she's not used to him speaking with other girls.

Why do you say that? They spent this whole summer together and they seemed happy. From what he tells me, everything went well.

Somehow I can't picture a girl acting differently after her boyfriend cheated on her. I mean that she has to think about what he did and it definitely sparks some emotions. It's impossible to really forget. It will piss her off or make her feel depressed while thinking about it unless she doesn't care that much. It's not something people forget about.

We can't generalize these things, we can only speak from experience. But experiences vary.

Sure. Personally I don't have same experiences, maybe 1 or 2 slightly similar ones though but I used to have friends in almost exactly same situations (in theory). It's a fact that there are many factors we don't really know about that make each situation different. Also, some people will act totally differently than others.
Even if I had to place myself in his position it wouldn't be so easy. However right now without thinking of other factors I could estimate what I could possibly do and what would be logically right.

The reason he cheated on her is because he never saw the relationship (since it's long-distance) as having any future potential. Meanwhile, he came to the conclusion that it was a relationship worth saving. That's when the cheating stopped.

That makes sense. However what he did was wrong and it's hard to believe that at first he thought that this girl wasn't worth a relationship and then totally changing his mind after what he did. But he probably had his own reasons as well.

I do think his girlfriend is a bit too possessive and aggressive but I can't say that relationships like this don't last, at least in the medium run.

Yeah, it's not like only perfect girls form happy relationships. Maybe it won't bother him much but what he did will bother her and combined with her personality traits that doesn't seem to go well.
It's just that I couldn't be in a relationship like this. What if she cheats on him in the future and feels justified?
Will she ever be able to trust him?
If the situation between them gets fully back to normal and he will become a casual, loving guy do you think that she will just let it go and be all perfect for him too?
I think not but who knows.

[Cancer Cock]

Don't have partners in your contact list in the first pace. Just creates jealousy problems.

[DarkPhantom13]

Ha my girl asked me for my myspace pass a long while back and i told her to fuck off.

[14MenDeep]

i was going to say that if the boy gives his girlfriend his password, if he wants to be devious and cheat on her he can avoid doing it over facebook. this would divert the girl's attention and suspicion into believing that he is being honest with her when probably he is going behind her back.

one of my work colleagues found out her boyfriend was sending messages to other girls over facebook. she left him over this and was disgusted at the number of messages sent and received and she said its not been the first time. she changed his password and said he then created another facebook trying to add her. she declined the friend request lol.

also, another girl contacted me wanting to know if her boyfriend had been sending messages to his ex. she told me to search the girl's profile and then use her boyfriend's passwords etc to go in and have a look at all his accounts. nothing there. inbox, profiles, details all empty and blank.

i can understand where these people are coming from but there needs to be a sustained level of trust to keep balance in the relationship. maybe it is knowledge of the partner's history which triggers off a paranoid feeling that they are looking elsewhere. then again, who wants to be cheated on?