My new situation
first of all, i'm drunk as fuck. i'll try not to have a bunch of typos because i'm not your regular asshole. i believe people who slur with their typing when drunk are losers. so be it. either way, i wanted to give the people who read my past two blog posts some updates. shit's changed.
i used to be a hash addict. in fact, i was one for about three or four years. i don't even remember, ridiculous, but that's actually true. i went to high school, but due to my addiction and loss of faith in humanity, i somehow got lost in this world. i started believing things. it changed my persona. i have always been a very outgoing, social person. my addiction changed me. i became more secluded to myself.
about a year and a half ago i met a girl who took a liking to me. to this day i'm not really in love with her, but i allowed myself to get so much involved that it's more than just a fling now. i feel a need to be faithful. on a larger scale, it involves my hash addiction. i have a strong desire to actually do some good in my life. for people who read my past two blog posts, you might know what my plans were. i finally moved. yesterday i came to trondheim, norway, and moved into my appartment. i'm living with my best friend through ten years. the past two years we haven't been that close, mostly due to my addiction to hash and my keeping to myself, but now we're living together. i feel great about that fact. see, when you're seriously addicted to a drug, you don't think straight. i wasn't thinking straight. my parents are very good people. they are people anybody would respect. they started at the lowest bottom and made it. now they pay my school fees. now they are talking about buying an appartment for me next year. being an ex hash addict, they're thrilled whenever i want to do something good. if i want to go to school, they help me financially. cause a couple of my dad's brothers were hash addicts. he know how it can demoralize a person. he knows it CAN keep people from being themselves. he knows i need help, and i really needed help. i don't even feel corny saying i love my parents so fucking much. they're the best parents a kid could have, seriously.
i moved here yesterday. my room is set up. thirsday i start school. i'll finish and get my high school diploma, then attend uni. for the first time in my life i feel like i, uh, "took the bull by the horns" and hung on sorta. most people will probably laugh at it, but just getting my head straight and getting this far took more emotional effort than some people might think. on my behalf anyway. i know some people won't understand it, but for the first time in years i feel proud of myself. i made a plan and stuck by it.
i got an aquarium. it's a new hobby i took a keen liking to. expect pictures and video on the future. aquariums fucking rock.
i might post pics of my appartment or myself or something. over the past two years i overcame my social anxiety. i used to hate taking pics, now i don't even give a fuck what any of you might say about how i look, i know who i am. it doesn't phase me. it's a mentality that's completely new to me. i'm just saying this corny shit cause i'm drunk but this is how i feel deep down.
tonight i met a few chicks who are from here when i was out with friends. i ended up abandoning my friends to hang with these chicks. one of them was 34 although she looked more like 28, the other one that i was flirting with was more my age, 22-ish. i got a girl back home that i grew to care about so i wasn't trying to mack, but i was being flirtatious and it worked. she wanted me to stick around her all evening, brought me to different sections of a night club and we bought each other drinks (fuck it, i'm a poor student now), i had lots of fun.
all in all, i've moved, i'm a student, i kicked the hash addiction, i feel fucking great. it's been a long time since i felt this good. i'll feel like a moron for posting this in the morning but fuck it. i don't even care. i'm proud of myself and nobody can take that from me.
peace.
i used to be a hash addict. in fact, i was one for about three or four years. i don't even remember, ridiculous, but that's actually true. i went to high school, but due to my addiction and loss of faith in humanity, i somehow got lost in this world. i started believing things. it changed my persona. i have always been a very outgoing, social person. my addiction changed me. i became more secluded to myself.
about a year and a half ago i met a girl who took a liking to me. to this day i'm not really in love with her, but i allowed myself to get so much involved that it's more than just a fling now. i feel a need to be faithful. on a larger scale, it involves my hash addiction. i have a strong desire to actually do some good in my life. for people who read my past two blog posts, you might know what my plans were. i finally moved. yesterday i came to trondheim, norway, and moved into my appartment. i'm living with my best friend through ten years. the past two years we haven't been that close, mostly due to my addiction to hash and my keeping to myself, but now we're living together. i feel great about that fact. see, when you're seriously addicted to a drug, you don't think straight. i wasn't thinking straight. my parents are very good people. they are people anybody would respect. they started at the lowest bottom and made it. now they pay my school fees. now they are talking about buying an appartment for me next year. being an ex hash addict, they're thrilled whenever i want to do something good. if i want to go to school, they help me financially. cause a couple of my dad's brothers were hash addicts. he know how it can demoralize a person. he knows it CAN keep people from being themselves. he knows i need help, and i really needed help. i don't even feel corny saying i love my parents so fucking much. they're the best parents a kid could have, seriously.
i moved here yesterday. my room is set up. thirsday i start school. i'll finish and get my high school diploma, then attend uni. for the first time in my life i feel like i, uh, "took the bull by the horns" and hung on sorta. most people will probably laugh at it, but just getting my head straight and getting this far took more emotional effort than some people might think. on my behalf anyway. i know some people won't understand it, but for the first time in years i feel proud of myself. i made a plan and stuck by it.
i got an aquarium. it's a new hobby i took a keen liking to. expect pictures and video on the future. aquariums fucking rock.
i might post pics of my appartment or myself or something. over the past two years i overcame my social anxiety. i used to hate taking pics, now i don't even give a fuck what any of you might say about how i look, i know who i am. it doesn't phase me. it's a mentality that's completely new to me. i'm just saying this corny shit cause i'm drunk but this is how i feel deep down.
tonight i met a few chicks who are from here when i was out with friends. i ended up abandoning my friends to hang with these chicks. one of them was 34 although she looked more like 28, the other one that i was flirting with was more my age, 22-ish. i got a girl back home that i grew to care about so i wasn't trying to mack, but i was being flirtatious and it worked. she wanted me to stick around her all evening, brought me to different sections of a night club and we bought each other drinks (fuck it, i'm a poor student now), i had lots of fun.
all in all, i've moved, i'm a student, i kicked the hash addiction, i feel fucking great. it's been a long time since i felt this good. i'll feel like a moron for posting this in the morning but fuck it. i don't even care. i'm proud of myself and nobody can take that from me.
peace.
Total Comments 19
Comments
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lol. i made a typo
 thirsday = tuesday. |
 
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actually it was thursday. sorry lawl.
edit. i forgot to mention. i've been shotting absinth tonight. not the real shit, but 70% liqour. hello! |
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Updated 08-16-2008 at 07:17 PM by Preach |
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this is news to me..i didn't know you were a hash addict preach? you sure fooled me lol... i always thought of you as a watered down version of Einstein that also made beats LOL..its time for a name change. DJ Einstein?
but hey, glad to see you getting past that and staying true to yourself and staying healthy...you have too much to live for. do what u can and get ur education done and move on with your life man..life is too short..but u already know that...... and thats right u should be proud of yourself...you're like the X hash addict brother i never had stay out of trouble |
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glad to see things are working out for the better. You might have noticed that I've been harsh on you with some of my recent posts but that's just my asshole-ish humor lol. anyway, keep us updated.
also, rahim, you corny fuck...hope you get killed by a daewoo lanos motherfucker. |
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LOL your home made car's won't last against our honda's
 us canadians make it a point to spit on the windsheilds of every daewoo we see...and ok....."asshole-ish"?? that doesn't sound corny to you at all?? |
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if i'm set on something i don't care. in general, i take whatever anybody might say with a grain of salt. it's not worth as much as my own opinion, to me. my point is, if i took offense i'm a loser who should be shot, but i actually haven't noticed. keep it up :p
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I don't mean to be an ass but lol @ hash addict. More like lazy with no motivation. Good to hear your finally getting shit together tho
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the two are pretty much the same, "demotivation syndrom". i'm just throwing it out there for people to make what they want. in the end, my priorities were such that many many things were shoved to the side for my own need to get high. that's, per definition, addiction, whether you need the substance or the emotion.
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Quote:
I don't mean to be an ass but lol @ hash addict. More like lazy with no motivation. Good to hear your finally getting shit together tho
But anyway, it's good that you try to better you life and that you finally do something useful, that's important. If you kick you lil habbit or not for it is not important, do what you gotta do 2 get you're life together. |
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All in all it doesn't matter what it was cause it's gone now, but I'm willing to argument. It may not be the chemical processes that take place when I induce my body with THC. But mentally, there are things I wouldn't do sober, but savour for when I was high. Doing this for three years it became a pretty bad habit. So obviously, it's a combination of different things. It all started when I tried hash, then wanted to do it again, then again, then it became something I did on occasion and I wanted to do it more often, then I did it daily, then I started spending the majority of my money on it with no regrets what so ever.
But other factors like pressure from my parents further demotivated me. As did insecurities and "lack of faith in humanity". Some people should understand what I mean when I say that, it's not what it sounds. |
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just another punch to this already dead-beat horse - after i quite i've been sweating like crazy while sleeping. this is a tendency i've been experiencing every single time i had to stay off for a short period of time. it took just above two weeks now, and i didn't sweat last night, but i don't know if it's gone for good or if it was a "coincidence". i'm talking, not a little sweaty, but i woke up in a puddle. it would look like i pissed myself. if i put my hands over the cover i could it was wet through. the room was about 18 degrees celcius however. this tells me there is something to do with the body's chemical balance involved, and my body obviously had to re-configure itself. so there is a slight physical addiction involved. as well as all those other things.
</troll> |
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Nope, no physical addiction. That's one of the most important issues when classifying a drug as hard or soft. Otherwise I would've been an addict by now.
From what I've read the sweating might last a month, max. |
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Updated 08-22-2008 at 07:19 AM by Chronic |
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^so, what's the reasoning behind the night sweats?
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physical addiction, eh.. there's a thin line between all these things. bottom line is, if you sleep and stay awake by a certain pattern for an extended period of time, your body will eventually adjust to this pattern. it's not, per definition, an addiction to a substance. rather, absence of the substance will be the cause of similar irregularities in your body that taking the drug once caused when you were "clean" and untampered with. either way, there were bodily discomforts beyond the mental desire to be high that came when i quit, stayed there for a while, and then disappeared. didn't sweat last night either. so whatever you want to call it, i still compare it as a mild variation of what a dope fiend experiences when he quits. in the end i don't pity myself though, so don't take these words too literal. it's all a bunch of semantics imo, and my overall point was that i discouraged myself from "staying tough" through those couple of weeks, which is why i continously smoked. bodily discomforts/irregularities AND emotional unstability. furtherer, the overall reason i won't just let this go is i KNOW all these discomforts weren't just "in my head". some of you know i smoked quite heavily, so maybe (and i'm just throwing this out there, not trying to be an ass) the people here who speak from experience don't quite "measure up". or maybe my body is weaker than average. i dunno lol.
s o f i, thc is a composition of hundreds or even thousands of psychoactive substances. each and every one of these affect various parts of the system. sweating is related to stress and anxiety, same with the cotton mouth. when stressed you produce more salive which makes your mouth drier. however, when you're high you have the same tendency but feel relaxed as hell. so like i said, after an extended period of time your bodys own production of the various psychoactives is regulated to match the irregularities that are brought forth by inducing yourself with thc. best analogy i have is, if a new predator is introduced into an environment it affects all parts of that particular ecosystem. so when i quit, my body's processes kept going about as if i were still smoking, re-adjusting a little bit day by day. this created a new irregularity, sweating at night. another thing is that i felt very sharp these past two weeks. now i'm sorta back to normal and if i don't get enough sleep i'm tired all day. the first one and a half weeks however i had so much energy all the time even with just four to five hours of sleep. i could wake up and not have a chance to go back to sleep. now i wake up in the morning and if i'm tired i turn around and fall asleep again. |
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Updated 08-22-2008 at 08:31 AM by Preach |
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^Yeah, I know that Preach, I actually studied weed in school lol. I asked because Chronic seems to refute that so I was wondering what his theory was on the nightly sweats. Maybe what you described Chronic wouldn't classify as physical addiction - I would. You know?
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Well S O F I everything is physical. We call them "mental" problems but our brain is very much a physical thing. So just because you have "physical" signs of withdrawal doesn't mean it's because of a physical addiction.
It's a psychoactive drug so it alters certain brain functions. Recent studies have shown that this is only temporary but if you are constantly under the influence it might have some bigger effects. How exactly that works I don't know, I'd need to up my chemistry and other fields of science :p It's not the same thing but for the sake of argument you can compare it to psychosomatic symptoms. Marijuana dependency is a very real thing so addiction is not ruled out when it comes to weed/hash but physical addiction is. You smoke cigarettes/drink coffee or alcohol long enough and you will get physically addicted. Getting addicted to weed requires a whole lot more. Like Preach said though, it's somewhat a case of semantics. Just because it's not a physical addiction doesn't mean it's not an addiction or a serious problem. To expand a tiny bit, my reason for believing it's not physically addictive is because of recent studies (and not by marijuanalovers.com) and my own experiences with it. From what Preach has told me he did smoke more than me at his "height" but he had more and longer breaks. I've smoked every day for the past 3 years or so with maybe 1-2 week intervals every now and then. I smoke before I eat in the morning. When I stop smoking all I feel is slightly down (what drugs don't have a come-down?) and unenergetic for 1-2 days and lately I haven't even experienced that. I abuse it like crazy (it's still low compared to heavy smokers) so if it's physically addictive why aren't I experiencing anything?. I've known a lot of people who smoke and none of them felt anything more than a slight discomfort for a short while. The cases where it does go wrong it's always accompanied with unrelated mental baggage. EDIT: I thought I'd to throw the term physical dependency out there. Preach had a physical dependency but not a physical addiction. Just so I know we're not arguing semantics. |
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Updated 08-22-2008 at 09:43 AM by Chronic |
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we're on the same page
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^so is everyone else who read this.
hi puffy |
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High Preach.
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Recent Blog Entries by Preach
- My new situation (08-16-2008)
- Hi, updates! (04-06-2008)
- Hey, new blog (11-05-2007)
