Something i've been discussing with my buddy. We both happen to be in awesome relationships right now and things just seem to flow naturally. My boyfriend and I have minor disagreements sometimes, in almost two years though, only one argument. No fights. Our communication is awesome, no game playing and guessing. My girl says her and her guy have the same thing.

I know a lot of people who fight more than they're happy, who's significant other won't compromise or sacrifice for them. Who put up with nonsense and call it love. Why? Is it really love?

Are relationships actually meant to be hardwork and difficult? Or if it's that hard does it maybe mean you aren't with the right person and you should keep looking?

What do you think?

It has a lot to do with the foundation of a relationship. Most people I know are in relationships in which they argue all the time and they've been doing it since day 1. Without the bottlenecks and issues, the relationships become stagnant for them, they need fights to keep it going.

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Here I am, paradox personified.

I know what you mean I know a lot of people in those situations, hell I was in a situation like that before. It sucks to know at the end of the day there's really not much there. Can't talk to them, enjoy yourselves for too long before arguing starts, etc. I wonder if any of them are really happy though? I know I wasn't when I was in that situation.

in my opinion, a relationship is only hard work when you both want different things out of it. when you're working towards a common goal, things run more smoothly. however, your situation could pose problems in the future. you say you guys don't have any serious fights, but do you ever get mad at him, or pissed off at something he did/does, and keep it to yourself to avoid an argument? do you think he does the same thing? because not expressing your feelings and anger when they come up can lead to some major fights down the road. trust me on this one, i know firsthand. it's better to express your feelings about things like that as they come and get them out in the open. i don't know if this is an issue in your relationship, but it's one that can be major if it's left unchecked.

as to your theory about maybe they aren't with the right person, well i don't usually give advice or state theories based on movies, but that reminds me of Knocked Up. when Ben is trying to get back with Alison after the Vegas trip, she mentions Debbie and Pete, and how they have to work so hard at their marriage because they aren't right for each other. i think that's the case in a lot of relationships. i also think that a lot of people are scared of being alone and will cling to a relationship even when it's clearly not working, just so they don't end up alone again. overall a pretty interesting question, a little more thought provoking than some of the threads in here lately lol.

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RIP Mom
3/14/55-9/6/07
I will always miss you

A relationship is the easiest thing to do in the world if there is communication. Take away communication, you're already damned. That's what I've seen from my experience.

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My salsa makes all the pretty girls dance, and want to take off their underpants, my salsa.

*shakes hips*

Thanks for looking out but I know. And thats not the case at all, i'm not one to be quiet about something that's serious to me, that's just how approach life with relationships, friendships, co-workers, family, whatever. I hate people who act as if everything is okay when its not. We have awesome communication, we talk about everything. And if one of us aren't ready to talk at the time, the other knows to give space and wait. You can only fake happiness for so long without being able to talk to each other, maybe 6 months, lol.

I agree a lot (plus good movie, lol) people just tend to hang on to who they're with rather they're happy or not for who knows what reasons. Kids, scared of being single, scared of change. The trade their happiness for arguments and insanity. Problem seems to be kids who didn't grow up knowing how to love themselves so they aren't capable of loving themselves as adults you know? Seems that so few people are actually happy with themselves and enjoy their own company.

I think it depends on the ppl. I have a smart ass mouth and I'm not sensitive. I know at the end of the day I still care about the person the same and whatever words were said don't change anything. As long as we're not physically violent towards each other I don't see the problem. I won't fight or argue in front of other ppl tho.

Do you think if you did finally have a real fight...that would be the end of it?

My relationship just runs smoothly. No huge arguments in 3 years. It's quite an accomplishment knowing myself. Obviously there are minor disagreements but that is normal.

I do think some relationships are worthed the hard work and some not. It depends on the people, what they want out of the relationship and other factors.

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But I'm a hip-hop baby, from the heart I never flip flop baby.

We play fight all the time, I think it's similar to what you're referring to. I talk a lot of shit, mostly because I grew up around a lot of shit talkers, lol. We play argue, yell at each other and that kind of thing all the time but nothing serious.

Nah, I doubt it would be the end of our relationship. We'd cool off and talk it out i'm almost certain. Can't be 100% though because it hasn't happened before. But our relationship is pretty strong i'm sure we'd get through it.

Do you think if you dated a guy who was perfect but too sensitive it could possibly work out for you two or no? Just curious.

relationships shouldn't be hard work...but all relationships need work..thats a fact....