I have a feeling that the "What are we" question is going to be coming soon...and I HATE that question. How can I say what I really want to say without making the other person feel like shit.

It's not that I want to date other ppl I just don't want to be expected to do EVERYTHING together. I don't want to hang out everyday. He's really good about letting me socialize with other ppl when we go out but I have a feeling after "the talk" that might change.

This is how it goes in my head.
Him: I really like you and...
Me: *FUUUUUUUUCK this...run away*

Let him know your boundaries. Explain him how you prefer things, taking it 1 day at a time.

Reassure him that you don't want to date others, but you want to have the freedom to go out with your friends, and do your own thing when you want.





My name is David, and I approve this message.

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My salsa makes all the pretty girls dance, and want to take off their underpants, my salsa.

*shakes hips*

^^
Indeedy. There's really no other option (unless you want to lie to him and definitely fuck up the relationship) than just telling him. But supplement each bad thing with a good thing.

"I don't want to hang out with you all the time" and then "but I like your shoes".

Just try to make it as clear as possible that you need certain things to make the relationship work but it's just how you are, it doesn't have anything to do with him. If he can't accept that the relationship was bound to fail anyway.

I wouldn't say things like "I can't hang out with you all the time" but rather "usually when I'm in a relationship I start feeling .... when we're always together". You get the picture. And try to make it seem like you're just "informing" him rather than making an official statement.

I never got the whole "dating" thing. Around here, you meet someone, you talk and hang out and if you kiss/have sex you're either in a relationship or you're just messing around. And unless you clarify that you're also seeing other people you're cheating. "Dating" = in a relationship, not going to dinner/movie and seeing what will happen, that's just two single being hanging out with possible sexual tension. The whole "where are we going with this" question is reserved for moving in together/getting married etc.

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My only friend is Mary Jane.

"I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide" - Thom Yorke, "No Surprises"

"If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth"

I'm tired of being pushed around like a stolen shopping cart full of rotten pumpkin meat!

^ So if you go on one date it's your bf/gf? I definitely don't do that

No you wouldn't refer to it as a "date", it's just two people hanging out. The word "date/dating" (making it somewhat official and I guess for you pressured) doesn't come into play at all. Here dating is a synonym for a relationship. "They're dating". But a "date" would be two people already in a relationship doing something as a couple.

For example in high school you wouldn't have people going out on dates and then seeing if they want a relationship. It was either hanging out and flirting or in a relationship, no in between.
I've never actually seen any of all that dating stuff you'd see in American sitcoms. No prom "dates". You either already had a girlfriend and showed up with her or you'd come alone and try to find someone there.

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My only friend is Mary Jane.

"I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide" - Thom Yorke, "No Surprises"

"If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth"

I'm tired of being pushed around like a stolen shopping cart full of rotten pumpkin meat!

I've never heard someone say they're going on a date with their gf.

This is from wiki
I mostly agree with that.

I'm with Chron on this one. What you quoted from wikipedia is odd to me, and something expected from I'd say older people 25-30 range who are looking for a long-term partner. I'm not going to "date" a girl if she's "dating" other guys at the same time. I'm not a sucker, I have an ego and it's big like my male member. bye.

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Here I am, paradox personified.

if youre dating someone then you eventually have to break up. I don't want to break up with him...I just don't want to hang out everyday. Why does it have to be all or nothing?

Well, is the hanging out friendship-like or partner-like? Basically, are there displays of affection by either one of you?

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Here I am, paradox personified.

I actually agree with you, as I'm in the same position. Honestly, I don't want a relationship, which I have stated a couple times to the girl. Yet, I still can't help but feel like she's falling in love with me and I feel guilty for seeing other people. I think I'm too good of a guy.

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Formaly known as Kodama...
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